Listing /Quotes ...
#11 SIG HEADER: /Quotes SIG-Op: Mikez Created: 28-APR-94 07:38
SIG Topic: A QUOTE a day gives the LAMERS a say!
Welcome to /Quotes!
/Quotes is a message area for things that you have heard that are
funny, interesting or absurd, and have been heard on Active or anywhere
else. Please post your QUOTES as often as you like - I will be awarding
credits for any messages that contribute to /Quotes in a useful way!
* Please only post QUOTES into this Sig - there are other
areas to cover other types of messages.
* Please don't reply to quotes with "hehehehe" or anything
that other people might not like to read.
* * * MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL * * *
Have fun and enjoy the Sig :)
Thoughts of the Day:
/Quotes
!!!!!!!
(Slashr:Messages): you're the sigop of /quotes right? don't you think
it's time for a new sig header? :)
Public Msg #410072 *Quotes* 09:40 28-JUL-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (2 Replies) (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Movie thingi
From a movie on TV not long ago:
Woman: I don't want you to think i'm an object!
Man: Don't be silly! I don't think of women as objects!
Man: I look upon a woman as a whole.
(You gotta say it for it to make sense, it's better when you can't see the
spelling)
úZuidú
Public Msg #411029 *Quotes* 02:41 30-JUL-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mike & Frodo
Frodo: I'm eating peanut butter with a screwdriver.
Mikez: Frodo...you've clocked it man.
Frodo: What? I'm hungry..
Mikez: No really, Frodo...try a spoon or something.
Frodo: I have no spoons in my room. :) And I don't wanna go walking
'cause its too cold. :)
Mikez: Frodo...so you had peanut butter in your room, yes?
Frodo: Mikez, yeah.. :)
Mikez: Oh ok, Frodo.
Mikez: That's cool...I have a clock radio in my room.
Public Msg #412430 *Quotes* 18:27 01-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Fred (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: This is what the wine does..!
<- <Navigator> Leaving for channel...
-> <Navigator> Entering from channel...
Maffz: Navigator appears lost @8-)
Public Msg #421958 *Quotes* 10:52 21-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Pengo (4 Replies) (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: A **REAL** /@
> 09 Foxtrot Messages
> 10 Arnie Games Conference
> 11 Gadogado Messages
> 13 Sam Messages
Nice how ppl organise themselves into groups
It's a real one too! :)
Public Msg #424524 *Quotes* 18:22 27-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Ubiquitous.
/p orch I now find it IMPOSSIBLE to walk through the city on any
Friday or Saturday night without seeing a BBSer.
(Orchy:Games Conference): I walk through Chinatown thinking paranoidly,
"any1 of them could be Ramazin" :-)
ROFL!
MikeZ.
Public Msg #425441 *Quotes* 20:47 29-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pazzo's Message..
This is a highly irregular practice, but here's part of a message from
Pazzo in /Party, that is just such a brilliant quote in itself.....
FROM PAZZO'S MESSAGE....
Why don some of you who have not been to an event come for a change or
event if you ahve been to an event it would be a change to have somemore
people for a change.
# JohnZ #
Public Msg #425461 *Quotes* 22:08 29-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Jammi....
This was from Jammi, in chat ... totally out of the blue....
(Jammi:Games Conference): John, are you funken happy? If you are,
you'd be the only funken one here that is!!! So if you're happy,
get freaked ya big tool! [strange_look]
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #425597 *Quotes* 10:50 30-AUG-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Kitten (1 Reply) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Sleep Deprivation and its consequences
EQ> (Ajk:Games Conference): live when i'm alive, sleep when i'm
EQ> dead... got a prop to fin b4 midday - 85 pgs.. printing it
EQ> now... coffee no longer has effect.. have resorted to putting
EQ> clothspegs on nipples in attempt to stay awake
ÄðøøðÄ
KitteN
And whilst typing this...
EQ> (Ajk:Games Conference): printprintprintprintprint and i have a
EQ> nasty feeling i'm about to run out of toner....
EQ> (Ajk:Games Conference): 'sokay if it does, i'll just SLIT MY
EQ> WRISTS AND DRIP BLOOD INTO THE CARTRIDGE.. THAT'LL FIX IT.....
EQ> GOD!!!!! I'M SO WORKED UP I COULD EAT A TREE!!!
ÄðøøðÄ
KitteN
Public Msg #426972 *Quotes* 17:38 02-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Pazzo (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Chum, Kitten
> Kitten rubs herself against YOUR leg and PuRRRURRRURrrrssss!!!
> Chum: kitten...... ummm.... that's not my leg! ;
paz.
Public Msg #427146 *Quotes* 00:50 03-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Baron.
Pick up line #435...
> (Baron): Are you, like, really fat?
<grin>
...Phoenix!
Public Msg #428433 *Quotes* 21:27 05-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Equinoxe (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <smile>
Mikez: Lil...we need a loser in here or we're not going to have any fun :)
-> <Baron> Entering from channel...
Lilith: Ask and ye shall receive.
'NoXe!
Public Msg #428461 *Quotes* 22:31 05-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Equinoxe (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <rofl>
Doom: I love pouring hot candle wax on my hand it's fun covering it in wax
Mikez: Doom...it's more fun pouring it on your dick and making a cast of it.
Equinoxe: Mikez - what do you do with the cast afterwards, pray tell? :)
Mikez: Fill it with Plaster of Paris and take it to movie nights to show
the Teenqueens what they're missing out on!
Public Msg #429324 *Quotes* 21:26 07-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Ma boy!
What would he do without me?
(Jammi:Games Conference): anything new in my life?
ROFL!
MikeZ.
Public Msg #431279 *Quotes* 13:00 11-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Jammi...
Ok. Last night, Mikez, Jammi and I were at an (un-named) tavern in the city,
drinking til the early hours of the morning. Mike had so much to drink
that, he started dancing on the dance floor near to us, by himself.
Jammi and I were totally embarassed, not that Mikez dancing was
particularly bad, but just so outta character for him, and he was
totally smashed. Then, Jammi leans over to me and comes out with this gem...
Jammi: We both deserve this.
I cried laughing :-)
Public Msg #440635 *Quotes* 14:58 28-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Psycho (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: David
>Wheels: I've thought of a cunning plan to get David to an Active
>event. :) It involves a car, a net, a long piece of string, and a
>28.8K modem. :):)
:)
PsYcHo
Public Msg #441388 *Quotes* 22:38 29-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Ahem...
Frodo being his usual quiet self was sitting in chat and then during a
lull in conversation.....
WH> ** Login: Jimmyz (M), 19200 bps, 12348 / 12348 credits
WH> Frodo: Oh, it's Jimmyz!! Oh my god.. [erection]
WH> rofl fro
WH> ...Now mind the furniture!
WH> Wheels is rolling all over the floor laughing at Frodo!
LESTAT
Public Msg #442831 *Quotes* 00:25 03-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: lamers..
This was from david, re whinging users...
(David:Personal Mailbox): mab with all the politics shoved up are arse
we cant hab fun anymore sob
Hahahah!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #442834 *Quotes* 00:36 03-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Jagz (Awarded 300 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm...
Here is a quote from chat tonight..
>Locke: i got my lip stuck in my toaster yesterday.
Jagz
Public Msg #443707 *Quotes* 11:58 04-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Rex (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Seth.... (Or is it Horus)
At Julia's extravagansa <Or however its spelt>, Seth, while walking
beside me to the picnic area casually remarked....
Seth :- You know, Horus would turn you off bestiality for life....
I thought it was great!! :)
Anthony..
Public Msg #448637 *Quotes* 18:40 13-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (1 Reply) (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: It was just a simple favour
Some of Active's lines needed resetting:
"Was" was local...
. /p was Hi!! could you please reset modems 5, 13 and 14???
(Was:Messages): ok
** Logoff: Sleepy (M), 2400 bps, 5416 / 2873 credits
** Logoff: Pengo (M), 2400 bps, 19600 / 4721 credits
** Logoff: Harley (F), 2400 bps, 5793 / 2792 credits
** Logoff: Sirwalt (M), 2400 bps, 4304 / 2693 credits
** Logoff: Kathi (F), 2400 bps, 5678 / 2862 credits
** Logoff: Smith (F), 2400 bps, 13108 / 4873 credits
./p was WHAT DID YOU DO???????????????
(Honey:Personal Mailbox): PLEASE DON"T ZAP ME <ARGH@@@>
...NickZ <Next time, I'll drive over and do it myself :)>
Public Msg #448647 *Quotes* 18:44 13-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: I should have stopped after the first
It gets better:
(Was:Games Conference): line 9 is down
./p was Check that all it's plugs are in. Turn it off, and then back on
again.
** Logoff: Misery (F), 2400 bps, 1883 / 1883 credits
** Logoff: Harley (F), 2400 bps, 5463 / 2670 credits
** Logoff: Smith (F), 2400 bps, 12946 / 4838 credits
** Logoff: (Newuser) (M), 2400 bps, 5708 / 2707 credits
** Logoff: Ness (F), 2400 bps, 5791 / 2790 credits
...NickZ <That's it, I'm locking Active's door :)>
Public Msg #452861 *Quotes* 20:08 21-OCT-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Heppell again.
I actually left this one a while ago but I think it was lost in the "big
crash". Anyhow, here it is again...good old Richard:
"And as for both using the phone line I was saying about Fidonet and
InterNet as I don;t see how a BBS can have it cable going to the house
to the computer specially for Internet when it is by phone line Fidonet
so how can Internet be different and not use phone lines and have
cables as you said before when phone lines are cables too".
He's truly awesome.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #472310 *Quotes* 00:21 24-NOV-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Fred (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: 8)
I am about to sneek outa my house so i decided to leave a note for my
parents. I wrote the note into chat as follows:
okay, my note says"Kerta en tartte menn„ t”ihin kun vasta 2pm, menin
Anthonyn luokse. Tuun joskus aamulla. Heippa! Niina" Does that sound
good?
and orchy replied:
Orchy: Your going to toy with the tart men, like Anthony and Luke. Then
you're jokingly going to mull. Yay!
silly.orchy 8 )
..Na!
Public Msg #472393 *Quotes* 07:43 24-NOV-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pazzo!
(Immortal:Messages): Seen those messages in /Active? Pazzo is in a
philosophical mood today.
(Immortal:Messages): What a horrible thought.
ùðWhðù
Public Msg #473179 *Quotes* 15:08 25-NOV-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: U fukken fuck u mate!
All of a sudden, out of the blue, without prior warning, while I was in
messages ...
Ä> (Kryton:Games Conference): stop been a lamo
<?> :)
ùðWhðù
Public Msg #486155 *Quotes* 02:33 19-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Siiko (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm
> Sleepy: is that nappy rash when you bum goes red and itchy?
> Zuid: no sleepy - that's sex that went wrong
hmm :)
\/\ $‹‹k” /\/
Public Msg #486418 *Quotes* 15:57 19-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Kieran (Awarded 1600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Dread
I found this funny :)..
(Dread:Messages): The only thing more depressing than an empty quickscan
is a direct chatting to edison and your x key fails to work
Cheers
Kieran
Public Msg #487968 *Quotes* 09:40 22-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Kathi (1 Reply) (Awarded 1700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Male activites...<grin>
(Pengo:Chatline): I think copper likes you... well... you're female and
you've got a pulse, right? :)
Then...
(Pengo:Chatline): Actually I don't think the pulse bit matters that much
<grin> That says it all....
Public Msg #489458 *Quotes* 00:45 25-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 1400 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: nod..
(Phoenix:Messages): i reckon Creator was trying to spell"Computer" when he
crea ted his handle :)
úZuidú
Public Msg #490529 *Quotes* 02:14 27-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <rofl>
> ** Logoff: Smiley (Z), 2400 bps, 11612 / 11612 credits
> ** Login: Smiley (Z), 2400 bps, 11612 / 11612 credits
> /p smi ?
> (Smiley:Personal Mailbox): Profanity. :)
úZuidú
Public Msg #491629 *Quotes* 00:48 29-DEC-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Wildkat.
Wildkat and I were talking bout reading sigs, then bout /quotes,
when this came up... :)
>(Wildkat:Messages): what?.. quotes?.. nah, I like to snicker at
>other people...thats what pisses me off, I sit there snickering
>and realise I was the stupid f*ck that said it...
<smile>
...phoenix
Public Msg #520406 *Quotes* 03:57 16-FEB-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: 'lhadgl;kahg;lshg
> Nickz: Some day I'm gonna sneak over to Creator's house and mix up all
> the keys on his keyboard. See if he notices :)
> Nickz: ..and see if anyone elses notices :)
diuZ diZ dZ ZZd Zid Zuid
Public Msg #521477 *Quotes* 01:16 18-FEB-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: On phone to David:
Me: Yeah I was thinking maybe I could get ..
David: Eerrrgh! EeeeeeerrrrrrgggghhH!
Me: What's wrong?
David: Errrrgh!
[noise of tap being switched on]
Me: What are you doing, nob? :)
David: My dog just pissed on my carpet and I put my foot into it!
Me: Oh good stuff. :)
David: That is so disgusting! I think, no I *really* do think that I'm
going to be sick! And I've never spewed, that I can remember! It stinks
of urine! That is so WEIRD!
Me: Well what else is it going to smell of?!
David: It's so gross! Nevermind! I'm going to get the cleaning patrol.
[pauses] Katie! Katie, wake up! Wake up Katie - the dog pissed on my
carpet! Clean it up now! [it's past midnight mind you :)]
David: I'm not going back into the warzone! I can't believe that! I
can't BELIEVE that! The dog comes straight into my room, does a giant
piss on the carpet, and then tricks me into stepping in it!
ùðWhðù
Public Msg #533189 *Quotes* 19:22 10-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Astroboy (1 Reply) (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Nickz The Sysop?!
We were all sitiing around being bored, when nickz paged us with this:
ÿ
(Nickz:Personal Mailbox [ALL]): I just realised that the Smiley account
was created 4 years ago today!! Which was when the system basically
went up!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
To which there were numerous replies:
ÿ
(David:Messages [ALL]): You are a month out, knob. :)
(Nickz:Personal Mailbox [ALL]): Oops.. sorry!!! It's next
month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <hide> :)
(Wheels:Main Menu [ALL]): <rofl>
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): <deletes birthday msg from Logon message> :)
(Nickz:Personal Mailbox [ALL]): <hide> :) Remember this day next month!
ÿ
<Sigh> Hmmmm......
Astroboy
Public Msg #540347 *Quotes* 17:40 21-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Basil (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Makes you wonder
Is there really a point in logging on...
> Poons: THERE ALLL FAG,LES,Bi NERDS...I HATE 99.9999% OF
> ACTIVE!!!!!!!!!!
Now tell me, if you felt that way, would you bother....small minded folk
maybe.
*áà$‹È!*
*áà$‹È!*
Public Msg #541792 *Quotes* 23:14 23-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Movienight
Coming home from the last movienight, we caught a cab which dropped off
Rex, then Nickz and Mouse, and I took it the rest of the way home alone.
Here's part of the convo with the cabbie (of European/Middle-eastern
descent) Read his lines with an accent.
Cabbie: "You are Grik (Greek)?"
Me: (I thought to myself, "God this guy's good") "Yeah I am. How did
you know?"
Cabbie: "The gell (girl). Ai cun tell from thi gell."
Me: (At this point I wrote him off as a fuckwit cause I know full
well Mouse isn't greek, but I played along.)
"Wow! How did you work that out?"
Cabbie: Coz she talk laik Effie!
I ROFLed internally :-)
Public Msg #542530 *Quotes* 18:50 11-SEP-94 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: Kiza.txt
Fw by Mikez
Ok...I've just reforwarded this classic file :)
Folks,
who remembers Kiza? Well, earlier this year, I got fed-up by him
continually pestering me for credits. Well, after about 3 months of
this, I started a file called KIZA.LAME (yeah, Amiga). The file
appended to my message was compiled in only about 6 weeks :). It's a
compilation of all the silly attempts to squeeze credits out of me :).
I never intended to upload this file - I was only keeping it for my
own amusement. However, after talking to Kieran (yeah..Kiza is now
Kieran) at the movie night, he thought it would be funny if I uploaded
it for everyone to see. I guess he's a pretty good sport - should I
give him credits? Nahhhh...:)
By the way, the last quote in the file is a classic! Watch for it!
Cheers,
MikeZ.
Public Msg #544950 *Quotes* 20:09 29-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Heppell
Yet another message from old Richard Heppell. Those of you who have
been around a long time may know this infamous moron:
There is a PLC schoolgirl on the train doing at as she did to me a few
times and she goes upstairs and that time I was on the seats on the door
level and she was there looking at me then when I was upstairs she did
too and once as I was getting off the train she was behind me and I
think she said hello to me but I wasn;t sure as I was seeing if she was
to say it again but didn't. But now another girl is after me and
doesn't go to school. She always wears black and is sexy but one thing
I don;t like is that she smokes and in a way I like that sexy girl but
what she does.
Richard.
Public Msg #544987 *Quotes* 17:35 29-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimmyz (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: d00dSpeak
Copy by Wheels
"d00dSpeak" - The new language spoken by techno-literate computer d00dz.
ÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ
> d00d: hehehehheheeeehehehehehheheheHEHEHEheHEHEHEHEee!!!!:)):)
"i've just been looking through 500 megabytes of pornographic software!"
> (d00d:Registry): fukYUO SYSOP!!!!;; shittn FUK U mabsta crap
> I hat fukken U!!!!!
"hello Sysop - could you verify and upgrade my account please?"
> d00d: cmon eLITE d00d wuld u lik 2 mab swap 0-dya WAReZ??!!?!?
"hey, would you like to give me a call to exchange pirate software?"
> (d00d:Chatline): u fukn cutnz sukoff yur MUMS RUGLY hehehehehe !!!!!
"my vocabulary is quite large - I learnt 2 new words today in Chatline."
> d00d: woowoo akTIV BEEBS waaaaay k00l yhea:))))))!!!?!! (02)-MY-WAREZ
"i like to call Active BBS"
> (d00d): hay misbe R U sexy i WANT TO f*** YOU eehehahahehe!!!!!
"Hi - How's it going? Nice weather today.
I had another bad day at school. What's your name?
I feel very lonely, and my mum thinks I'm weird.
Even though I am only 12yo and you are ten years older - can I chat you
up, take you out for a Movie, and maybe get a root if possible, too?"
> d00d: me an idiot u fucken fuck u mate
"hi - like to chat?" <Source: MikeZ>
Cheers :) JZ
Public Msg #545110 *Quotes* 04:38 30-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Minniem (2 Replies) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: Creator
Subj: So this is wot you mean????
In the words of Mark Twain <must be a relative of Creator>
A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped
to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no
longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would
be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with
later.
Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would
take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y"
replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse
and for all.
Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with
Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12
or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.
Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov
thi ridandant letez "c","y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in
the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch","sh", and "th"
rispektivli.
Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev
a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.
MiN
Public Msg #545656 *Quotes* 10:29 31-MAR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hassan
Hi Folks,
Here's a very funny convo between me and the storeman at work,
Hassan. I was helping him download a file from some BBS. Here
we are sitting in the Main Menu of this strange BBS. Read Hassan's
lines with a thick arabic/lebanese accent.
Me: Ok Hassan, which file do you want?
Hassan: Yeah mate. This the one. Main Menu.
Me: No no, what's the file called? You have to know which
file you want to download.
Hassan: Yeah mate. She say from Main Menu.
Me: But there's 100,000's of files on this BBS. Which file?
Hassan: Yeah mate. This one. IBM boot dos file.
(Oh ok, so it must be some diagnostics thing he wants.)
Me: Oh right, umm, let's see what file topics there are.
Hassan: This one mate. OS/2. This the one.
Me: No no Hassan. This is a file area. Plus, it contains
OS/2 files. You have a DOS machine.
Hassan: No man. This the one. She say OS/2.
(After much mucking about, we work out which files he
wants. It wasn't an OS/2 file after all.)
Me: Hassan, these are .DSK files. How will you use them?
Hassan: Yeah mate this the one. Fix my computer.
Me: But you can't run these files. They are not .EXE or
.COM types. I don't know what a .DSK file is. I don't
even know if it's compressed.
Hassan: No mate. Put on disk I run my machine.
(At this point I'm tearing my hair out.)
Me: Ok look! I'll get you the files! You do what you want
with them. They are about 700K bytes each.
Hassan: You got them now on disk?
Me: No Hassan! We have to download them first! At 1200 baud,
that'll take hours!! Best do it with a faster modem
someday.
Hassan: HOURS!!! Bloody hell man! Why you do at this speed?
Me: ARGH! It's a 1200 baud modem only!!!
Hassan: Make it faster mate! (Sarts going for the dip switches
at the back.)
Me: Leave it Hassan! You can't change it!
Hassan: Ok mate, just get a few minutes of file, we see what
it's like.
Me: ARGH! You can't just get part of a file!!! It wont work!
Hassan: Turn it off mate! (Gets the shits, turns gear off, packs
it up, and storms out!)
Hahahahah!!!!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #549501 *Quotes* 03:32 07-APR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (3 Replies) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: Phoenix
Subj: uni
Reply to #549448, Reply to #549447,*
> > At Macquarie uni there are stickers all over the place that say
> > "Activate" and i have no idea what they are really for.....
>
> There are also things up on Park Street saying "Active Nation"... ??
> Some ploy by the Sysops to take over the world? :)
>
> ...phoenix
I was bored, so I thought I'd look in the white pages for businesses
starting with "Active".. may come in handy for future use. I sharn't
list them all :) - These are *real* business names!
Active Action Marketing - I wonder if Quota runs this?? :)
Active Appliance Service Applnce Reprs - Hmmm.. now we know why so many
females call. and I never thought it was that sort of
BBS :)
ACTIVE AUTO CONNECTION - <rofl> :)
Active Computer Supply - I wonder if the users come with it? :)
Active Credit Consulting - <rofl> Zuid's the man for this one :)
Active Emplyoment - ..and I didn't realse we were looking for new
Cosysops :)
Active Health - This one's a contradiction in terms :)
Active Internation Marketing - Hmmm.. this explains the German msgs :)
Active Kids Pre-School - <rofl> This one's right on the ball :)
Active Life Centre - ..or rather, lack of :)
ACTIVE MAIL - hahaha...
Active Pest Control - Well that's what I programmed the /P ALL OFF for :)
Active Removalist - Dhrystone???? :)
Active Signs - These must be the people going around the Uni sticking up
those signs :)
Active Smash Repairs - hmm.. "Active Crash Repairs" woulda been more
appropriate :)
Active Suspensions - <rofl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!> I swear, I'm not making these
up!! They're in here!! :)
Active Towing Sydney - I'll remember this one :)
...well, there's some mild amusement for those who are bored :)
...NickZ.
P.S. I guess it's funnier at this time of night :)
Public Msg #549806 *Quotes* 19:46 07-APR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Jedd loses his "cool".
I hadn't paged Jedd for that entire call, when suddenly, out of the
blue:
-> (Jedd:Messages): fuck off.
Much later.... :
(Jedd:Messages [ALL] ): If you honestly think I am going to drop to the
level of insults that Wheels is prone to, .....
Well, I laughed. :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #550956 *Quotes* 11:12 09-APR-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Jammi
We were at a party last night...
Jammi: So where's David? Is he at Movienight?
<Laughs all round!!> :-)
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #576353 *Quotes* 14:51 24-MAY-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Willie (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: What an idiot :)
> FROM SMILEY:
> I'm about to delete /Youth! The system will probably delay for up to
> a minute while it deletes all the messages and removes the sig.
>
> The system has NOT crashed! Just be patient and it will eventually
> return!
>
> Thanks!
> ...NickZ.
>
> P.S. if you're in /youth now, get out of it! :)
> (Nickz:Messages [ALL]): Everyone please get out of youth!!
> (Nickz:Messages [ALL]): That's it.. if I find out who's in /Youth, I'm
> zapping them!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
> (Nickz:Messages [ALL]): Fuck.. you were warned!!
> (Nickz:Messages [ALL]): <ahem>.. It was me.. I had to be out of it too
> <hide> :)
Public Msg #589256 *Quotes* 16:02 20-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Kraught (2 Replies) (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: What happened in maths today (from memory)
<shrug> We had a relief teacher, and, well, after wearing my pencil
case, this is a verbal "argument" that someone else got into with the
teacher.
(Where T is teacher and S is student)
T: Why are you talking
S: Um... I was doing a problem, and it seemed hard, so I took a break
T: Don't take a break - you can get them all done now!
S: Yeah! And tick them all too!
T: What? Do you copy all the answers out of the back of the book?
S: Yes - that way its easier to mark them cause I know they're all
right!
T: You do realise there is no answer sheet in a test?
S: Yep! Thats why I have friends to sit next to me during a test!
T: Your friends aren't going to be holding your hand all your life,
y'know?
S: Yeah... they can kiss me, too..
<rofl> Anyway, the whole class was howling... If I can, I'll try and
remember the conversation when she tried to get him in trouble @8-)
btw, it REALLY HAPPENED TODAY! :)
Public Msg #589263 *Quotes* 16:14 20-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Kraught (1 Reply)
To: Kraught
Subj: What happened in maths today (from memory)
Reply to #589256
(l8r...)
T: What is it now?
S: Um... nothing... I shouldn't be in this class...
T: What?
S: Um, I'm not really in this class - my friend forces me to come here!
T: Are you telling the truth?
S: No
T: When are you going to start telling the truth?
S: Um... around about now, I think
T: What is your name?
S: Um... can I lie, or do I have to tell the truth?
T: You have to tell the truth!
S: Um... Dylan!
Dylan: Hey! Thats me!
<rofl> The whole class was laughing at the teacher (who was angry the
whole time) @8-)
Public Msg #589426 *Quotes* 22:37 20-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Alibrandi (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: Kraught
Subj: What happened in maths today (from memory)
Reply to #589263, Reply to #589256
Well your quotes <grin> reminded me of my ol school days, so I pulled
out an old diary and found this 'quotable' passage from my photography
class in year 11. It was a small class with about 10 people in it
(background info).... anyhow...here goes:
"Today in photography we were in the dark room in complete darkness. (I
was doing 'up yours' to everyone and nobody knew :) Anyway we were
watching (watching?) the teacher unload some film and put it in the
tanks. I was swapping my seat which was sticky with troy's who was
fighting around in the corner with Andrew.
Miss dropped a tank and you culd hear it fall (tanks are as big as a
large itty bitty bin)
Miss: "Can someone find it?"
Miss: "<Squeal>"
and Andrew put the tank on the table.
Miss: "Where is it?"
Troy: "Right there!"
Miss: "Where?"
Troy: "I'm pointing to it!"
When the lights came back both tanks were loaded but there was an extra
roll on the table. No-one had noticed it before and knew how it got
there.
Me: "Mabye it multiplied in the dark."
Then troy sat on the sticky seat.
Troy: "It's sticky!"
Andrew: "Oh Troy!"
Troy: "It wasnt sticky when the lights went out!"
Andrew: "You wern't sitting on it when the lights went out!"
<boom.boom> Well I hope it's up to Wheels' standards of good quotes :)
’l¡brand¡
Public Msg #590138 *Quotes* 15:38 22-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Sweet Pixie. :)
Goose, Icefalcon, Zuid, Pixie and I were "doing lunch" in Mona's cafe
when Zuid asked why Icefalcon wasn't eating all her salad...
Icefalcon: Oh, I only go for the tomatos and carrots.
Lestat: What about the cucumber!!! You don't like cucumber??
Icefalcon: No... cucumber doesn't do much for me.
Pixie: <with complete innocence> Cucumber does alot for me!
Zuid: <perverted.giggling>
..Till..
Public Msg #590464 *Quotes* 12:44 23-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Premature Ejaculatuion.
> Lestat: Bigelow, premature ejaculation striked one in ten males. :)
> (Petrov): Only if you're within distance.
Lestat.
Public Msg #590751 *Quotes* 00:55 24-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Creator
-> ** Login: Creator (M), 2400 bps, 10001 / 5000 credits
-> /p cr :)
-> (Creator:Main menu): reo!
-> /p cr how you ?:)
-> (Creator:Personal Mailbox): asm e as usual hbortes!
Translation please! :)
...phoenix
Public Msg #591408 *Quotes* 13:34 25-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Voodoo (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: phone call
(Scratcher:Messages [ALL]): <ROFL!> The phone rang, I picked it up, and
said "hello?" This girls voice said "Sonja, I still want you...
I want to lick you until you're dry... meet me at George's in half an
hour." (rofl) "I'm sorry I think you have the wrong number."
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seeya's
LORD VOODOO
Public Msg #591559 *Quotes* 18:23 25-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Tragic misconceptions... Part 1. :)
> Mulder: lestat do you dislike homosexuals?
Public Msg #592352 *Quotes* 00:54 28-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <rofl>
Whilst discussing lamers ...
>Jaimz: The Cheshire fan club has three members - Cheshire.
Public Msg #592473 *Quotes* 13:03 28-JUN-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: Jz.
Hmm. :) Just some quotes i found in a file.. :) from a while back... I
think it was during Triv. :)
[ASCII Download to read :) ]
...phoenix
Public Msg #593688 *Quotes* 17:15 02-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Dinn. :)
-> ** Login: Fisticuff (M), 2400 bps, 6001 / 3000 credits
->
-> (Dinn:Messages): (zuid/phoenix) <shrug> all the good handles must be
-> taken :-)
...phoenix
Public Msg #594718 *Quotes* 21:24 06-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Sysop
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Friendly MBBS!
One of MBBS's more polite warning messages!
Ä> If your copying operation runs into trouble, it may generate the
Ä> MS-DOS "Abort, Retry, Ignore?" message, and trash your system.
úðSmileYðú
Public Msg #597083 *Quotes* 03:01 12-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Orchy (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Jagz on Active girls :)
(Jagz:Games Conference): matchmaking with an active girl? :)....erm...
ive had too much experience with active females for my likingl....and
seeing them at active events had caused mirrors to break :)
Public Msg #597341 *Quotes* 20:03 12-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: He's Quick!
Ä> ** Login: Cheshire (M), 2400 bps, 11878 / 11878 credits
Ä>
Ä> /p cheshire Hi!
Ä>
Ä> Sorry, but Cheshire has chosen to "forget" you exist, and will not
Ä> receive any of your chat messages, whispers, pages, chat requests,
Ä> credits, or actions.
He's getting quicker! [exercise is the key... :)]
Doesn't that just suck? You know - the fact that you can log onto a
multiline BBS and the other bastards try to make contact with you? :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #601405 *Quotes* 22:20 21-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Alibrandi (Awarded 5000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: ees.txt
Hi people! Thats right, were all people...arnt we? Thats right. And
thats rather the theme on this rather 'happy' night. Because in
particularly in chat, we are all people...and one way we express
ourselves by our e/e's...
Well anyway, a day has come when we should reflect, laugh and
...erm...ahhh...reflect back apon the e/es that have made us laugh,
frown, cry and vomit profusely over the last six months...
So without further ado...here they are...there's about 50 or so of
em..so they'll keep you occupied for a few mins..or for those of you
who'se iq is below this number...a couple of hours :)
Well If I can end on a quote..."It's easier for a rich man to pass
through the eye of a needle, then it is for a camel ...erm"
’l¡brand¡
Public Msg #601929 *Quotes* 03:41 23-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Heppell.
A few more messages from Richard Heppell:
"Are you been silly or something ?? Why do you thing I am excited just
about NAKED girls in Germany ?? If this sort of thing going on and not
ben serious about things I don't think I either call this BBS again or
be talking to you. Like I like during the week to go home after work and
not having to see someone but on the weekends unless I see them on the
train on the way home. As I like to see TV shows and not have to tape
them."
"Why do you think I am joking ?? I NEVER joke on the BBS that much and
all is real so why take it as a joke. Why do you also think that the
tax office don't know how to spell your name ?? Well I am serious
someone as work is after the file called TAXFAUD.ZIP and he saw it on a
TV show and I saw that show as he taped a bit of it and he asked me to
get it for him and as I can;t really used the internet for IRC chat or
the files I asked here to see if any of you have seen it and what I get
back is as if I am joking and as I said I hardly joke on the BBS."
"Again when I called I was cut off and had to call again and this is why
I am now not calling as often as I have been as I am always been getting
cut off and I will continue not to call as often til it is fixed. And I
know it is nothing wrong with my modem as it didn't happen before. I
think that it is when someone is already on the BBS that then they go
off or whatever that I get cut off."
"It is that what I hate is been always get cut off on this BBS and I am
not very happy about it at all which is what got me in like that and I
don't like it. And what got me saying those things too."
MikeZ.
Public Msg #602293 *Quotes* 20:34 23-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Alibrandi (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hehe
I found this quote in an article about the internet & related
communities (like active I spose) anyway see if this reminds you of
anyone :)
"There are lots of sad little computer nerds who have found completion
of their lives without having to leave their terminals ... they've
managed to find sexual fulfilment."
<cough>
’l¡brand¡
Public Msg #602358 *Quotes* 22:53 23-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (1 Reply) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Greeks..
Hi Folks,
The other night I went to a Greek wedding and had the pleasure of
sitting next to this guy who was so far up himself it made me very ill.
Here are some of his lines:
Greek: Look at the waitress man. I like those round arses. God
bless them.
Greek: I was national feather-weight boxing champ in Greece.
Greek: They offered me $100,000 for my movie script but I told
them to get stuffed cause they wanted to change the
names.
Greek: I did a script writers' course through NIDA.
Greek: Greeks are the best in the world mate!
Greek: You read the bible and you'll see the Romans were Greeks.
Everything we do today is because of Greeks. You should
read your history man and you'll be so proud!!
Greek: Look at all the women here! You go out with them man
all they want is to talk about getting married and
shit. Stupid bitches. Don't get me wrong, it's fun
leading them on for a few months then dropping them!
Greek: Why buy a book when you can have a library? (Re his
thoughts on getting married).
Greek: I go to The Cross man. Let me put it this way. The girls
there are very, how should we say, friendly? God bless them.
Greek: I like the rough girls man.
Greek: You know all the sleazy joints in The Cross? Well
they're the ones I go to man. I own shares in them all!
Greek: They should kill the Serbs! I'm not racist or anything.
<Puke>
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #604728 *Quotes* 22:11 28-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (2 Replies) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: What am I missing?
Gee...
all these years I thought I had it right. But I was wrong. I admit
it. My sense of fun is obviously screwed up. Devlin has shown me the
way:
(Devlin:Games Conference): god this is fun getting pissed wioth snowman
and quota:)
Oh well...
MikeZ.
Public Msg #605162 *Quotes* 00:19 30-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: David...
David's thoughts on the whole Rocky Horror thing ...
David: Why do Hoyts let them fuck with the cinemas? :)
Laugh!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #606061 *Quotes* 20:03 31-JUL-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Oh dear.
>Immortal: fuck! I got charged $4.50 cos one of my mates was
>chatting up my direct page service!
>Siiko is rolling all over the floor laughing at Immortal!
>Petrov is rolling all over the floor laughing at Immortal!
>Petrov: Immo, whats your number?
>Jaimz: Imm - Did he get a date?
>Immortal: Petrov, 911
>Immortal: Jaimz, he'll get a sore date next time I see him.
Public Msg #606486 *Quotes* 01:04 02-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <laugh>
Mikez and i were working on the new "tell" action, and he was confused
about something and i didn't know what he was on about, so he decided to
look at another action for an example, or ask david.. then this :)
>(Mikez:Games Conference): You would think I'd ask Nick sitting 3 metres
>from me:)
>
>(Mikez:Games Conference): Now I remember why Iÿ never ask Nick anything
>:( Mike: Nick!
>(Mikez:Games Conference): Response is the usual: Wait.
>
>(Mikez:Games Conference): I'm serious...that's why I don't ask. If
>Nick is beside me and David is on, I invariably ask David.
Public Msg #607701 *Quotes* 21:15 04-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Pengo (Awarded 3500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <sigh>
-ðð( *Story* R W S D U X ? )ðð- /p dev Dead.
(Devlin:Messages): that is a word that is the same backwards and
forwards!
<shrug.
-öð¨PENG0?ðö-
Public Msg #608179 *Quotes* 20:54 05-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (2 Replies) (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: /Culture ... -> Prostitution?
>(Dinn:Messages): Do you think that if Lisapizza doesn't come within 30
>minutes, she's free?
Public Msg #608220 *Quotes* 22:56 05-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Umm..
Zuid: my arse is starting to hurt. i think i should change positions.
Public Msg #608230 *Quotes* 23:17 05-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Siiko
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm
Copy by Siiko
Zuid:QUESTION: What do you call an infant whale?
Lestat: calf
Wheels: Cheshire.
Jaffa: calf
calf
Infi: my ex :)
Johnz: calf
Wheels: No! Dazza!
Rex: calf
Zuid:WINNER: Lestat
Johnz is rolling all over the floor laughing at Wheels!
Rex is rolling all over the floor laughing at Wheels!
Zuid: honourary_point.wh :)
...hmm :)
Public Msg #608231 *Quotes* 23:18 05-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Siiko
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm
Zuid:QUESTION: What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun? <haw haw>
dangerous :)
Lestat is sighing to himself.
Rex: Anything it wants?
Lestat: Sir.
Sparhawk: .sir
Infi: moonlight :)
Johnz: geurilla
Zuid:WINNER: Lestat
Wheels: Julia.
Lestat is rolling all over the floor laughing at Wheels!
Zuid:ANSWER: Sir. <nodding> :)
Wheels: Oh.
Rex is rolling all over the floor laughing at Wheels!
... :)
Public Msg #608234 *Quotes* 23:24 05-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Siiko
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm
Wheels: Johnz, I'll have to ask you to take your log out of my system.
<ooer> :)
Public Msg #608272 *Quotes* 00:59 06-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hors d'ouvres
After suggesting to Wheels that his mum makes great hors d'ouvres and
that she should make some for the Active BBQ, he replied:
(Wheels:Games Conference): I will say "Mum! Some kids on drugs need
some hors d'ouvres, can you make some?" and she will laugh and say
"Son.. fuck you badly!" :)
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #608275 *Quotes* 01:13 06-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: BBS BBQ
Well here we all are in chat discussing the possible up and coming
Active BBQ for quite some time. David is in chat contributing nothing
to the discussion, until he comes out with this wise piece of advice:
David: It's fucking winter you knobs!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #608296 *Quotes* 02:14 06-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Shit?
Wheels: I have seen a video of a woman having an enema, and a zoom
camera shot on the contents of the toilet afterwards. Never before
have I been so strongly reminded of Horus.
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #608704 *Quotes* 03:31 07-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <moan>
>Rex: [David's fantasy]: Imagine me processing on your face... My
>lovely CPU puimping data straight into you.......
>Rex: [David's Fantasy]: (cont): Imagine me parallel proccessing
>down your chest, straight to the root directory.... dumping your
>lovliness on my LPT1: ... Slowly, surely backing up your files
>until you ream your data all over me....
>Rex: [David Fantasy]: (Cont. Again): Imagine me slowly formatting
> your floppy, making it a whopping 12gig HD... Oh yeah... Type
>that command...
Public Msg #610949 *Quotes* 00:32 12-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hmf.
Upon informing Johnz of an upcomming event, ...
Ä> (Johnz:Messages): Aren't you 20 yet you stupid cunt?
ùðWðù
Public Msg #614696 *Quotes* 02:14 19-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: .
> Frodo: My friend went to Rocky, and she said `There were these bunch
> of fuckwits sitting in the front row with water pistols going
> ohuhohuohuhouh'. I guess she met Active. :)
...phoenix
Public Msg #615098 *Quotes* 21:42 19-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Quota (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pazzo...
No wonder all the new users aren't going to movie nights or to the Town
Hall Steps events...
> (Jaffa:Games Conference): haha... that can be really scary you
> know!!! you're walking up ths and the first thing you see is pazzo
> with outstretched arms ÷)
-ðð(ÿQuotaÿ)ðð-
Public Msg #615689 *Quotes* 20:37 20-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Videos..
Mikez, Susanz, Nickz, Mouse and I went into a video store the other
night, and hired more videos than would fit in one bag...
Attendant: Two bags?
Mikez: I prefer to call them Susan and Alex.
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #617219 *Quotes* 18:24 24-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Pengo (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Psalm 11:5-7
'The Lord trieth the righteous: but the wicked and him that loveth
Windows his soul hateth. Upon the Windows user he shall rain snares,
fire and brimstone, and a horrible smell: this shall be the portion
of their HDD. For the righteous Lord loveth righteousness; his
support doth behold the OS/2 environment'
Public Msg #617353 *Quotes* 23:33 24-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: .
Andrew Denton, on this evenings show:
Microsoft's gone backrupt!! This can only mean curtains for Windows!
Public Msg #618222 *Quotes* 20:11 26-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: English?
I thought I would share the "interesting" instructions that came with my
mouse. Note that all typos in the following are intentional:
"Welcome to work with the smart mouse. Right from now, your computer
job are no more a boring and tremendous typing process. Alternatively,
an easy and freiendly method to communicate with your personal computer
does just present you in sight. This mamnual is designed to describe
what the mouse is and how to operate it. Before you begin to read this
manual, check what mouse package you are. This is labeled on your
package cover. The mouse is fun to use, so read on and enjoy it. In
order to facilitate our customer's ready, This manual is presented in
seven different languages: English, German, French, Dutch, Spanish,
Italian and Chinese. Please find the one that is easiest for you to
read."
The one easiest for me to read? It's definitely not the fucking
English! :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #618426 *Quotes* 02:38 27-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Car shopping.
About 3 weeks ago I was looking around on Paramatta road, when I walked
into a dealer's yard and he started to attempt to convince me that I
should buy his crappy 2 door Golf for the same price as a cool 4 door
Golf down the road. :)
"Mate.. you don't want a 4-door! You'll be like a taxi! You want one
door for yourself, and one for your girlfriend. If you're driving all
your mates around in the back, you'll have to share your girlfriend! ...
I tell ya mate, this is a good, straight car." :)
"Maybe it's not suited to me", said I. :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #618668 *Quotes* 15:51 27-AUG-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Our new measure of intelligence. :)
> Dimples: well frodo u think i'm stupid what about u, u haven't
> even fill in your rego ha h ha ha ha u are boring mate!!!!!! :)
Zuid Is A Pirate. Ahar P)
Public Msg #622136 *Quotes* 22:57 02-SEP-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Infi (2 Replies) (Awarded 300 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: wheels
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): Ok! Assuming everything goes correctly, there
should
now be a "Party Begins... :-)" prompt at logon again. :) If it doesn't
go
correctly, then I will personally drive over to Active and put the
entire
system into a Mini-Skip. :)
./p wheels can i grab a HD and modem while your over there ???? (hoping)
:) :) :) :) :)
** Logoff: Dream (M), 2400 bps, 15464 / 2871 credits - Relogging
** Logoff: Why (F), 2400 bps, 8882 / 4111 credits - Relogging
** Logoff: Dinn (M), 2400 bps, 8410 / 4411 credits - Relogging
** Login: Kojak (M), 2400 bps, 2280 / 2280 credits
** Login: Dinn (M), 2400 bps, 8410 / 4411 credits
** Logoff: Pengo (M), 9600 bps, 11495 / 4909 credits - Relogging
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): ERR! :) Umm.. as of cleanup! :)
** Login: Dream (M), 2400 bps, 15464 / 2871 credits
(Kojak:Main menu [ALL]): what party begins thing?? :)
** Login: Pengo (M), 9600 bps, 11495 / 4909 credits
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): BEWARE! There is knobbery afoot! :)
./p wheel must of been something you said <rofl> laughs !!! :)
** Login: Wasp (M), 2400 bps, 11365 / 11365 credits
(Dinn:Messages [ALL]): Start cleanup again then, Wheels. :)
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): What - want an early cleanup? :)
** Logoff: Kojak (M), 2400 bps, 1736 / 1736 credits - Relogging
** Logoff: Dream (M), 2400 bps, 15419 / 2826 credits - Relogging
** Login: Why (F), 2400 bps, 8882 / 4111 credits
** Login: Dream (M), 2400 bps, 15419 / 2826 credits
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): a 50% majority will see the system shut down
for 2
minutes to put in the "Party Begins...:-)" prompt. It, on the other
hand, may
not come back up again, in which case you would be well advised to use
however
much of the system you can until
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): cleanup. :)
** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 3052 / 729 credits - Normal Exit
(Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): Ok ok. :) We'll leave it until the morning. :)
Thought id share this with everyone, i thought it was funny at the time
;)
úúŒãŸŒúú
Public Msg #622141 *Quotes* 23:03 02-SEP-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Kraught (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: Infi
Subj: wheels
Reply to #622136
My ideas of the same event are better! :-)
> (Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): a 50% majority will see the system
> shut down for 2 minutes to put in the "Party Begins...:-)"
> prompt. It, on the other hand, may not come back up again,
> in which case you would be well advised to use however much
> of the system you can until
> (Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): cleanup. :)
> (Wheels:Main menu [ALL]): Ok ok. :) We'll leave it until the
> morning. :)
> /p whee Is 50% a majority?
> (Wheels:Main menu): Fuck off! :) :)
> (Wheels:Main menu): Umm.. no it's not. :(
Kraught
Public Msg #622185 *Quotes* 02:30 03-SEP-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pick up line #98745.
Ä> Tentacle: hey babey... (slick back hair)
Ä> Tentacle: stick around and you might see my flab
..I could say something funny here, but I will restrain myself. :)
Cheshire will love me for it. :) :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #622267 *Quotes* 10:34 03-SEP-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Jedd (2 Replies) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: Rhonda
Subj: blah
Reply to #622264, Reply to #622262,*
> > > Nup.. there is one ad better than Advanced Hair... "Are your jaffles
> > > boring you?" :-)
> >
> > my fave is actually the lamb series of ads with the great music :)
>
> I'm not saying I like this ad, but ..the one where it shows ppl, quite a
> few Japanese (from memory), in b&w, with fluro bits here and there, and
> for some reason I thought it was an Epson printer ad..
>
> But it was an ad for wool.
> Erm.
Personally, I don't think you can go past that one from quite
a few years ago now.. (doubtless pre-dating most of the kids on
here) .. for a certain brand of tomato-based pasta sauces.
"Ladies - why don't you open your Leggo's tonight, and
give your man a meaty treat!"
Jedd.
Public Msg #641502 *Quotes* 23:44 11-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Schroder
To: ** ALL **
Subj: How could you?
Wheels just said this, which brightened up my chatting night...Dunno why
though :)
Wheels: I am going to put a big cauldron of shit into /Active, and
Zuid and Jelly can stir it to their hearts content. :)
Schro...
Public Msg #641635 *Quotes* 09:39 12-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Misery (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: check the access...
this morning.. with the cred rate at 0..
LINE USER-ID AGE SEX CALLS BAUD CREDS ONLINE A OPTION SELECTED
02 Scratcher 12 M 1234 2400 12001 12001 H Main menu
05 Jelly 10 M 1055 2400 10451 4941 A Personal Mailbox
10 Nickz 27 M 2117 9600 12001 12001 S Personal Mailbox
11 Misery 17 F 1007 2400 12001 12001 H Personal Mailbox
The trust is out there, truth me
Qt
Public Msg #643408 *Quotes* 20:28 15-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Phoenix (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: George St.
Scene: George Street, walking back to THS after seeing a movie.
What happened: While waiting to cross the lights, a lowered Prelude with
a few young people of Asian origin drove past, with it's occupants
shouting "FLUCK WRU!" numerous times. :) I wonder what they were trying
to say... :)
...phoenix
Public Msg #643553 *Quotes* 02:03 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: RHS
David: Nah Rocky is outta the question... they are fucking with
Hoyts and I don't like that.
Public Msg #643557 *Quotes* 02:33 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Moonlight (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Early morning Antics..
Ô> Johnz: Misery is acusing me of having a small dick. I don't like
Ô> this.
Ô> Sophie: Johnz, bt you do have a small one
Ô> Johnz: Sophie, I paid you to shut up!
## ##
M nlight
oooooo
####
Public Msg #643559 *Quotes* 02:36 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Cones
Sophie: We had a Cone today !!
David: Sophie - what flavour?
Public Msg #643866 *Quotes* 19:53 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Wheels
After advising wheels that one needs to be a little more conservative as
a sysop with less of the "Yay! Fop! Whoo!" aspect, he replies..
(Wheels:Personal Mailbox): :) But Active *is* yay fop woo! It's not
a greek carpet store!! :) :)
Public Msg #643871 *Quotes* 20:26 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Frosty (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Compliments.
(Johnz:Messages): <sweet smile>
../p john Your halo needs a good polish! :)
(Johnz:Messages): So does your pitchfork.
..But wait! There's more. Later on...
../p john May I quote?
(Johnz:Messages): Sure .... anything that makes you look bad I'm all for
So charming! :)
Public Msg #643896 *Quotes* 21:23 16-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: System Stats..
/pÿwhe The bottom of the /# listing should give average age, average
baud rate, average sex, average credits etc :-)
(Wheels:Messages): I can tell you. :) Average age: 15. Average baud:
Too slow. Average Sex: Too much. Average Credits: Too many. :)
Public Msg #644875 *Quotes* 21:19 18-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Dzire (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: !pleh
Fw by Mikez
(Dzire:Messages): retupmoc siht ni deppart m'I pleh
(Mikez:Messages): !ouy pleh ot esle enoemos gnitteg yrT
Public Msg #644964 *Quotes* 00:49 19-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Iskander (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: re chiuaua msg in /trading
./p mikez with a dog that small you could just strap it to your face...
<Mikez:> Bwahaha I'll remember that for the next sleaze ball...
----- beware the man in a dog mask -----
Isk...
Public Msg #645145 *Quotes* 13:44 19-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: David downs his first E! :)
I thought I pretty much had David worked out! But he finally
let it slip!
David: 8*)
David: äé)
David: î8-)
David: äé)
David: ä8-)
David: þè-)
David: ¯è-)
David: *8-)
David: Wheels be tipsy. :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #645829 *Quotes* 21:16 20-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Kraught (1 Reply) (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Erm...
> Jedd: scratcher, i'm sure phoen has nice knees, but, well,
> my mind is above that.
Kraught
Public Msg #646024 *Quotes* 11:06 21-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Honey (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Love Line Noise
Acme: ÿûhoney!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Acme: ÿûÿû
rofl
Acme: line noise..
Ozone: That's odd line noise, gives you a root every time.
Jedd: i wouldn't mind line noise like that.
So if your line noise is giving you a root - stop complaining and enjoy
:)
HoNeY
Public Msg #646400 *Quotes* 01:42 22-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Driving..
(David:Messages): When I was coming back from the casino a week or so
ago I was driving up a street near my house... it's not a main road but
there is a fair few streets off either side of it and all those streets
have STOP signs <c>
(David:Messages): so the road I was on is the "main" road with right of
way up towards my house. I live off one of the side streets at the end
of the road. Anyway I was driving up the street and noticed headlights
coming from a street to the left.
(David:Messages): It was 4am BTW. I slowed right down cause they seemed
to be coming awful quick. :) I was slowed almost to a stop so if he shot
out he'd go straight past in front of me and miss me by miles. Anyway
the car does appear and screeches to a stop
(David:Messages): about a car length over the STOP line. It was a
fucking police car!! :)
(David:Messages): Nearly pulled the cunt over to have a word with him! :)
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #650345 *Quotes* 20:36 29-OCT-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Erm...
I'll admit.. I was very, very bored. Well.. I still am. Anyway, I looked
up the directory of users to see what wonderful summaries people could
come up with if they tried... I couldn't find any, so here are some of
the lamer ones.. :)
Aardvark ... SINGLE & STILL LOOKING (I'M 19)
Ankle ... NEED FEMALE HELP
Buccaneer ... Knows German, Croatian, Likes Fun Time.
Chad ... Big Feet, Big Meat
Cobra ... DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEEE
Covenant ... If you want me you've got me
Dusty ... Kiss ME !
Eppo ... OPEN YOUR EYES GIRLS, CAUSE HERE I COME
ÿ
Evil ... Has your puss˜ had my whiskers today??
Raver ... Has your P u s s Y had my whiskers 2day
Sundaze ... Has your Puss˜ had my whiskers today.
ÿ
Jnr ... Big feet, big hands if u catch my drift
Lee ... I am shareware to my friends.
Mambo ... TRAINED BACHELOR, YING TO UNTRAIN.
Mandy ... Fun Girl, Wants to PARTI
Mountnman ... Loves Mountnwomen
Royandhg ... Wet or dry, it's worth a try!
Smithy ... gimme tittys
Swish ... Hi.. I am looking 4 the ULTIMATE BABE!
Teenwolf ... Sports/Girls/Anything fun
Teeny ... sports,girls and anything fun...
Toastman ... I am single at the moment ;) >-<
Trooper ... Any single girls out there?
Weirdo ... Any good-looking babes... ring me!
Yogi ... Enjoy loving females &Entertaining them
Active (TM) is NOT an electronic dating service! (Yeah right)
Lestat. :)
Oh, and of the people on that list, 7 have been suspended.
Public Msg #652675 *Quotes* 22:06 02-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Interest
As sysops of Active BBS, we like to take an interest in what goes on
here. We like to keep in touch with the users and make sure everyone is
happy. To ensure the smooth running of the system and to read messages
from our users to help us profile the sort of people we have here. This
helps us best serve the needs of the users. A good example:
(David:Messages): That would break my vow to never read that SIG! :)
<blink>
MikeZ.
Public Msg #653485 *Quotes* 13:56 04-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Lestat (1 Reply) (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Some people... :)
** Login: Oxidiser (M), 2400 bps, 6001 / 3000 credits
** Login: Rasputin (M), 2400 bps, 6479 / 3000 credits
** Login: Kafka (M), 2400 bps, 8640 / 5000 credits
(******:Messages): Oh fucken great - 2 losers and a loop log on at once :(
Public Msg #655068 *Quotes* 17:16 07-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Hatred (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: Kraught
Subj: Just say no....
(Kraught:Messages): I know! :) If I borrow the tape, you can borrow my
grandfathers' colostomy bag for security - he can't live without it!
No thanks, if it's all the same :)
Public Msg #655362 *Quotes* 08:09 08-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Equinoxe (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ...!
(Orchy:Messages): Man, dicks are the things that stop us talking crap
and thinking like a budgie all day long.. :)
Public Msg #655669 *Quotes* 21:02 08-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <giggle>
> (Hoju:Messages): /w mer qs
> (Hoju:Messages): warpiing to merumaat
> (Hoju:Messages): quick screw sompletee
Zuid Is A Pirate. Ahar P)
Public Msg #655717 *Quotes* 22:29 08-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Jaffa (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <sigh>!
I don't believe this... first time I have ever seen this person. I log
on and within 30 secs I get this page...
÷ (Habber:Games Conference): are you blonde it doesn't say in your
÷ rego.. are you under sixteen years of age... please lie if you feel
÷ it necessary
Some people...
Public Msg #657275 *Quotes* 02:33 12-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (2 Replies) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: .
(David:Messages): Dancing is for girls and faggots.
Public Msg #657483 *Quotes* 14:53 12-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimmyz (3 Replies) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Bill Gates - Click Here
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³Û-Û Windoze '95 Dooms
day Program ³
ÃÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ´
³ ³
³ ASSASSINATE BILL GATES?
³
³ ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³
³ ³ OK ³
³
³ ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
³
³ ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Public Msg #657998 *Quotes* 13:31 13-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: David - a seasoned mechanic!
David, Timelord and I were going out late one night recently when
Timelord and I heard a flapping noise coming from the back wheel of
David's car. He pulled over, and David watched as Timelord and I changed
the wheel. :)
David had doubts that I had tightenned the bolts properly and put the
wheel on the right way around, etc, because it looked easier to him than
he thought it should have been. :) However, he said ".. as long as
you're sure!!" and we got back into the car.
5 minutes down the road, we started to hear a different noise, and I was
joking around by saying "I hope the wheel isn't pulling off!" .. David
got a bit stressed and said "Fucken car! I don't wanna know! Let's turn
the music up!" and all of a sudden we couldn't hear the noise anymore.
:)
Every 10 minutes or so, David would gleefully announce "Car's running
well, isn't it! Hmm! The noise has gone away!"
ùðWðù
Public Msg #658006 *Quotes* 13:43 13-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Richard Heppel in disguise? :)
Got this from another BBS -
Tho if you think that if to norm. of what was considered was a family
was smae-sex parents there would be no pressure on the child to think
these kind of thoughts. Tho it is cos' society places pressure on
kids to conform to the "general" population disadvantages both the
parents & kids of these relationships. Tho do not diagree in same-sex
parents looking after children tho we do have to realise what is in
the best interests of the child.
ùðWðù
Public Msg #660502 *Quotes* 00:46 17-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <Blink>
<Blink>
(Wyld:Messages): I am Jeff of Borg resistance is fu......mmmmmmmm donuts
<Blink>
Public Msg #662946 *Quotes* 18:12 20-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: A masterpiece!
This is from /active, originally written by Hacker, but it contains a
few mildly humourous phrases. :)
> I just wanted to inform everyone that has bought galaxy tv
> has waisted their money. Foxtel owns 49% of galaxy and posseses a
> contract that allows them to air anything on galaxy. This is a
> warning to anyone that was about to buy galaxy not to, and was
> just informing any1 that has bought galaxy they have waisted their
> money. Foxtel airs everything that galaxy has plus more. Also
> optus vision is getting the pants sewed of them forus
> vision through the air rather than through cable.
> HACKER!
Zuid Is A Pirate. Ahar P)
Public Msg #663058 *Quotes* 23:15 20-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Hatred (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: x
After quite a long silence..
../p Johnz Aren't you talking to me anymore :)
(Johnz:Games Conference): Yeah, sure, you are such a charming person to
talk to. Full of wit and compliments. OF COURSE I'M NOT FUCKING TALKING
YOU!!
At least I got a smiley in the next page :)
<grin>
Public Msg #663095 *Quotes* 01:07 21-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: ianf.txt
A day in the life of a newuser!!
I wanted to know how a new user felt when he logged onto the System, and
how responsive everyone was towards someone who is obviously a complete
lamer. :)
I was quite surprised how pleasant and helpful most people were despite
such obvious annoyance and lameness, and a little surprised at how
un-helpful some others were, but all up, it wasn't as bad as I expected.
:)
To those [Lestat, Cloey, Kimo, Phoenix, Hatred, etc etc] thanks for
showing me around the system. :) It was cool to be on the other end for
once. To the handful of people who made it harder [and you know who you
are], it's people like you who endanger the reputation of the BBS.
So, since I had such fun for a day, i thought I should share some of
that fun with you. :)
Enjoy!
[By the way.. the people and events contained within this quote are
entirely fictitious, and any resemblance to any real person or User-ID
is purely coincidental. [smile.orchy] ] :)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #665878 *Quotes* 04:52 26-NOV-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: The joys of being a Sysop.
Ä> (Wyld:Chatline): can i have cre axs :
ùðWðù
Public Msg #669245 *Quotes* 16:18 03-DEC-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Equinoxe (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ooer..
.sing White trash, get down on your knees.. time for cake and sodomy...
Xxxxxxxxx: I don't like cake...
Public Msg #669817 *Quotes* 22:38 04-DEC-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 1200 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: New Active formalities.
> Johnz: I remember 3 years ago you wouldn't even "hug" a man on
> here .... now you suck his cock and feltch him as the standard
> greeting.
> Moonlight (to Johnz): it's only polite..
Zuid Is A Pirate. Ahar P)
Public Msg #670233 *Quotes* 21:42 05-DEC-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Rex (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Devlin.. [Shakes Head Slowly]
Hi all...
While in chat, we were talking about the attractiveness of some female
tennis players...
Devlin came out with this:-
Devlin: I think that Monica is ugly and deserved to be stabbed!
Johnz: Devlin, if peopl,e were stabbed for being ugly, you would have
died a painful death the day you were born.
Devlin: I did'nt mean that she diserved to be stabbed because she was
ugly... hmm let me rephrase that...
Devlin (to Johnz): she is ugly and desreves to be stabbed because of
her political statments and the fact that until recently she was a
"Yougoslavian" player when the war was on
Johnz: Devlin, that's worse than your first attempt.
Mikez, In a fit of brilliance, said this:-
Mikez: Try again Devlin "ok i thin k she was ugly and should be
stabbed for being a yugoslavian and rich and beccuase she doesnt
play golf or work for dick smith and why don some of you who have
never been to a tennis match come for a change and even if you hav"
<laughing>
Anthony..
Public Msg #677554 *Quotes* 23:00 20-DEC-95 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Blacktown
(Feedme:Messages [Johnz/Timelord]): no, this was a real incident i
witnessed at blacktown hospital... the drugfucked bikie in a wheelchair
arguing with his wife, and she said "i fucken luv yoo mate" and its
been a tender moment i have never forgotten :)
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #710879 *Quotes* 20:23 26-FEB-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Amusing!
> Coolio: ahhh no serious guys it is a good joke BUt it is over now
> haha very funny come on dudes and dudets make my modem go normal
Public Msg #745505 *Quotes* 21:12 09-MAY-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Priorities..
> ** Login: David (M), 2400 bps, 12001 / 12001 credits
> (David:Messages): Oops... this isn't the Internet. :)
> ** Logoff: David (M), 2400 bps, 11967 / 11967 credits - Normal Exit
Public Msg #748466 *Quotes* 02:12 16-MAY-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Oxyoss (1 Reply) (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: hmm, funny (I thought)
Try this one :)
(Mikez:Main menu [ALL]): I just know someday I'm going to pick up a
Latin dictionary and see that "Leschek" means "compost" :)
Hehehe :)
Cya,
Rusty Bones :)
Public Msg #748480 *Quotes* 02:40 16-MAY-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wilbur (1 Reply) (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: Leschek
Subj: hmm, funny (I thought)
Reply to #748475, Reply to #748466
(Mikez:eXit Leave [ALL]): My apologies about the compost comment. I
looked up Leschek in the dictionary and it does not mean compost.
Apologies to Leschek if I offended him.
(Mikez:eXit Leave [ALL]): It actually means "Manure".
<much.laughing> :)
Wilbur
Public Msg #771398 *Quotes* 19:20 30-JUN-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Chucky (1 Reply) (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mabster
rofl.
-> (Mabster:Messages): <confused look> Go get the TV program and have a
-> look at what is on before the Euro 96 stuff...2:30am...
So i didnt know what he meant and i went and looked at 2:30am. And here
is what it says
2:30 Documentary: The Sex Warriors and the Samurai (UK,MA,L,A,Rpt)
Story of Jo-an, a transvestite who works in a sex bar in Manila, who
once a year makes a working trp to Japan for headjobs. 7196517
Chucky
ykcuhC
Chuyck
Ykcuhc
YhCcku
Chucky
Ykcuhc
Chucky
Wheels will give me creds now.:) Possesed to write this by Dweeb.
Public Msg #771399 *Quotes* 19:21 30-JUN-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Chucky (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Dweeb and his Japanese
** Login: Razer (M), 1200 bps, 6001 / 3000 credits
(Dweeb:Messages [Arey/Chucky/Mabster]): Look, it is Lazer with a
JAPANESE accent
Rofl. he learns jap pretty good!:)
CÿChucky
ÿyÿkÿc
ÿuÿhÿC
Public Msg #773047 *Quotes* 20:41 03-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Sprung!!
Dad: Why does my loungeroom smell like the 1960's?
ùðWðù
Public Msg #773621 *Quotes* 23:44 04-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Good Thinking. =)
ð (Hoju:Messages): Why don some of you who have not changed a sig
ð header change it for a change to have some variety for a change.
..It was annoying me, too. =)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #774648 *Quotes* 02:14 07-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: A very friendly Vietnamese restaurant!
At a local Vietnamese restaurant which my parents have been to maybe 8
times before:
Waitress/Owner: Have you bin to Vietnam before?
Mum: No.. But we'd like to go very soon! I think it'd be fascinating!
Waitress/Owner: Good! Is nice! Listen, when you go, you tell me, I come
with you.
Mum: Oh! Thanks! [pale]
Taking 'customer service' to the extreme. =)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #775311 *Quotes* 10:25 08-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Ramazin (1 Reply) (Awarded 1200 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Please don't hurt me!! :-)
> -> lebs rule! and if u don't like it then eat $H!T
> tell mou Maronite or Muslim? :-)
> Mousse: muslum
> Fire (to Mousse): I gather you're muslim then?
> Mousse: yes i am muslum and if u have a problem with it then just pop
> round to my place and meet my cousins!
> tell mou But I like Muslims, they're better than Christians :-)
> Mousse has just punched you silly!
> Mousse pulls the trigger <blam> and kills you with a marshmallow
> bullet!
> Mousse: look mate i don't care if u worship muslum's i don't give a
> fuck u are in my badbook permanently... so god help u if i see u on
> the street... have a nice day
> rofl mou
> ...Now mind the furniture!
> tell mou Don't hurt me, I'm really wimpy :-)
> Salsa is laughing at you!
> Fire (to Mousse): leave Ramazin alone.. he's being nice.. okay??? no
> need to get psyched out coz he's expressing his admiration of Muslums
> Not that I admire Muslims, it's merely that I have nothing against
> them - is that so hard to grasp, Mousse? :-)
> Mousse: well he better shut up ori will put his mouth on the back of
> his head!
> Fire (to you): you're wimpy and I'm ugly ,grin>
> Fire (to Mousse): settle down.. please.. he's not hurting anyone...
> ga is very afraid. <tremble> :-)
> Fire is rolling all over the floor laughing at you!
> Mousse: i am getting my basebll bat!! last time i needed it... 94!
> Fire (to Mousse): no need for that... really
> tell mou Please don't hurt me, take pity on a small, wimpy person!!
> :-)
> Mousse: spit on the hands... holding it firm
> Fire (to Mousse): put it down.... it's not worth it really....
> Mousse: .SMACK on the chest
> Fire rolls her eyes in disgust of the unnecessary display of Machoism!
> Jelly (to Mousse): in other words, don't be a goit. :)
> ga is happy being a SNAG :-)
> Mousse: .SMACK on the back of the head
> Mousse: .SMACK on the stomach
> Mousse: so u want me to continue?
> <pleading>: Please don't hurt me.. please.. please..? :-)
> Fire thinks that should be a new religion.. especially for men.. the
> Machoists...
> Fire is rolling all over the floor laughing at you!
> Jelly (to Fire): I believe in the god Testosterone.
> Fire (to Jelly): don't all guys
> Jelly (to Fire): no, i was lying :)
Public Msg #775651 *Quotes* 23:34 08-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Family Fun.
Like son, like father:
(Wheels:Messages): [laugh] =) Dad got a biggish one - takes 2 D cells,
but looks like it'd fit at least 4. It's on my desk at the moment, so
it's as good as mine =)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #775705 *Quotes* 21:04 17-JUN-96 *EXEMPT*
From: 2short
To: ** ALL **
Subj: driver8-stupid
Copy by Smiley
driver 8 is stupid and has lost his password i am writing to u on behalf
of him to obtain his password. You my have noticed
f him to obtain his password
u may have noticed him getting his password wrong when logging on.
Please leave me mail on the the fastest and best way for u to contact
himr just scrub driver
8s register all together and he can start againlater
later :)
hope to hear from you soon
2short
Public Msg #777759 *Quotes* 22:48 12-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Orchy (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Wot it Really Means.
Anagrams for "Active Fun and Entertainment BBS"
Bent but if man advances, Internet
and benefit: vibrant mutant scene
and benefits: bum cavern attentant
An infant menace: tend bit subvert
Nice infant mutants brave bad net
Intermittent fun 'n' babe advances
Best-ever mutant infant dance bin
Dumb internet-absent infant cave
Nice tart an' babe investment fund
Public Msg #780451 *Quotes* 17:34 20-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Orchy (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Movie Night at the Town Hall Steps
Top 14 anagrams for "Movie Night at the Town Hall Steps"
Shhh! Now total tentative glimpse
To hell with it! Savage month spent
The "Let's hang the not-so-vital wimp!"
Shh! Twat loathing impotent elves!
Heavens! Hell! Twit mating hotspot!
The vomiting elephant that's slow
What? Not motivating the helpless?
Loathing this telephone-VMS twat
Phantoms to the evil English twat
Shhh! Impotent total leaving west
What? Smelling the natives hotpot
Tenth ape shit shag well not vomit.
Public Msg #781041 *Quotes* 22:59 21-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Elmo (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Rofling..
my friends cousin was in woolworths/flemings type thingy.. and she
bought a packet of Tampax Tampons.. and they wouldnt scan properly.. so
she called for a price check...
bout 30 secs later this poor 15yr old kid.. first day on the job comes
up and sez "are those the ones you push in with your thumb or the ones
you hammer in??"..
the poor kid had thought she sed Thumbtacs.. but riili she had called
Tampax... >*)
-kelri! >*)
Public Msg #782884 *Quotes* 19:40 24-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Facist (8 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: da olympics
Copy by Wheels
i reckon our swimmers r really bad.
they r no good. we spend so much moola, wampam, dead presidents, money,
you know what i am saying, but they sil cannot win races.
just what i think.
s
save
//s
Public Msg #782885 *Quotes* 19:57 24-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Facist (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: da olympics
Copy by Wheels, Reply to #782430, R*
yeah but what about tha money we have alredy spent on al the swimmers in
trainyng them and stuff it costs very expensive and itis not like humans
r made of money and gold u now so id ont think that they r a very good
thing to pay lots of money to if they can not win a single race and if
they did win a rac e it woul d be the long race with kirun perkens and
damian koslowski winning and no one cares about the 1000 metre race so
they would not have the challenege and isnt it funny how aso germany is
doing badley, anyway, tanks!
//s
Public Msg #784012 *Quotes* 15:19 25-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Petrov (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: my computer
Copy by David, Reply to #782456
> i am selling my 386 we have a spare one. it has 2 mega bites of memory
> and a 40 meg hard disk and a 512k memory video card. it also has a
> really fgood monitor, vga and everything.
>
> we bought it for $2500 so we r prepared to sell it for $1500.
>
> make any offers ppl cos it wont take long to sell!1
>
My dog will buy it.
She has no money, she will trade it for Schmackos.
Petrov.
Public Msg #784150 *Quotes* 23:30 27-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Siiko (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: laugh
Jelly says to David, "You're a git... Sod off."
Zuid casually urinates on David.
Jelly casually urinates on David.
puddle dav
...Oops!
David: Who writes these actions?
<- þ David þ Leaving to edit actions...
-> It's David!
David: Apparently me.
David: Who knows my password? Cunts.
Public Msg #784320 *Quotes* 10:08 28-JUL-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Facist (4 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: confuscious
i think some of u would do well to remembre the famous quote by the
ancient japaneese philosopher:
'ppl in a glass house should not use stones"
Public Msg #787516 *Quotes* 01:25 05-AUG-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Callisto
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Sleeping tight...
Hello... some frivolity in chat in the wee hours...
Wheels: .Sleep tight? With Jaimen? =) It'd be like throwing a sausage
down a hallway! =)
** Logoff: Jaimen (M), 2400 bps, 5817 / 216 credits - Normal Exit
Primate (to Wheels): Or like fucking a bucket :)
Goodness me!
Callisto.
Public Msg #788234 *Quotes* 22:56 06-AUG-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: A friend for Pazzo?
ð Mumbi: did you all went to the main in cityabout ABC like the
ð bannan pyjamas & the others too.!
ùðWðù
Public Msg #792328 *Quotes* 20:30 15-AUG-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Lazer
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mikez! :)
When i got home from my driving lesson, i view my backscroll.. and this
pops up :)_
(Mikez:Messages [ALL]): God I hate it when I read /Poetry and there's
nothing new from Mumbi!
-ðð( *Party* R W S D U x ? )ðð- /p Mikez <*> Sorry Mikez, but I'm not
here. page me with /help to find out more. :-)
(Mikez:Messages): I'll fucking show you /help!
Made the people here laugh anyway :)
Public Msg #795085 *Quotes* 07:20 29-JUN-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wilbur (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Alien 4
Fw by Azriel, Reply to #770234, Rep*
> Eg: Chop off a limb of a starfish and that limb will grow into an
> exact genetic duplicate (clone) of the starfish.
I never figure this out. <grin> :)
They say that you can also chop a worm in half, and it'll grow back.
But every time i tryed it. It just sort of shrivled up and stoped
moving :(
<sob>
Wilbur
Public Msg #799143 *Quotes* 20:09 30-AUG-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Odie (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: bean...what a kak!
(Bean:Personal Mailbox): sounds kelwies u know the other day a girl said
to me are you seling those 2 do;a chocolates i siad yeah she siad how
much are they what a stupid diot :)
well I shat myself :)
ODIE :)
Public Msg #801002 *Quotes* 17:18 04-SEP-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Dweeb (Awarded 1200 Credits)
To: Bandito
Subj: Mumbi....
Reply to #800996
> I just entered chat, when Dweeb made a comment......
>
> > Dweeb (to Mumbi): hello sexy legs
Bah! She's on a roll.......!
Now this is actually mumbi ... enjoy:
Mumbi: hell sexy legs
Mumbi (to Arnie): full sik
Mumbi: full sik
Mumbi: full sik
Mumbi: ummmmm
(Mumbi:Games Conference [ALL]): ful sik
She's a good student :-)
Public Msg #801005 *Quotes* 17:16 04-SEP-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Rhonda (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: the othe rday
theother day iwans sitting in chat
and it was so funny you know
someone said thys piss jack shitt on the donkey fuck off xunt
AND i saw zuid cross the road!
wow!!!!!!
i mean haahhahhahaah@@@@@
Public Msg #802912 *Quotes* 19:05 10-SEP-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Vladdy (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mumbi at it again :)
Dweeb (to Mumbi): /p all bye sik cunts!
(Mumbi:Games Conference [ALL]): sik cuts
(Mumbi:Games Conference [ALL]): lazer is sex beast
(Mumbi:Games Conference [ALL]): cres is small dick goth
-Vladdy!
Public Msg #809290 *Quotes* 00:30 27-SEP-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Medieval (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Helio
Fw by Kev
HIya Kev, sory I dint get bak to you tonight, I mean yesterday, I mean
what ever but I was busy, wel ummm at Machin's house and well I dn't
know if you'v guess it but I think I ahvd a little too much ahocol. Not
at mach's but at home....I only had bout one nda a half a mach's, but
c'mon on I have gottn dronk on alost worse. Damn I knoew I forgoet to
end a sentecne eralyier but second line down at the ned I ment to say
well I dn't get back hoem until about 10.30 os ro...or so. imena. I'll
be home al day tommmorrrow, i think, well at the mnemnt I domt think vry
much at all. but yeah I really ndont know what hapening tomowr w but
I'll firgue something out. Muist keep eyes open...must finshin
messgwea. any way I think weekend wil be gret, I jsut hope the weathre
holsd. anyway seeys tomowr. and I talk to ya lartet....I 'd better go I
thinn I goingto start singinig sonsg again....
HAli to the busvdrirder, busdrierv, busrdiver, hail to the bus driever
busdvire man.
eeeeek....oh god know....I singinn an dfhunk its fny, hmmm I'd betre
stpo drunkgin now or Ill sperrwk. ehhh ummm mabyr just one mroe. on no
I'm still writnign a lettre to Kev, oh shit I thuogeth I wsawnt in
peseoneral malebox anyomeore....oh Hiya kev, howr es you?....manf thr
keuys keep mionving, acrsso the boaurd. whoa stpo erk fhuk siht studpid,
dtupspi, stuidpd. oops I'm stlii riting the letter, heelo again kev mstu
find a n end to this line someohow, oh well I'll jsut keep going until
Ido or some such thinig hapends, anyway I will go to bed now /w zap oh
whta it doesn;t wokr. must tryagain. / wzap. oh fuckit....fukcu, fuxnkh
Public Msg #812412 *Quotes* 11:11 04-OCT-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wilbur
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <shrug> Something....
Speaking about sponges in Chat. <duh> <obviously> :)
Akuma: Wilbur is the 24 hr A axs sponge.
Akuma: Bandito is our N user sponge.
Akuma: Stephanie is our H axs lucky bitch sponge.
Bandito: And Akuma, well he's just our resident cock sucker!
Akuma: Bandito, that's right.
Akuma: and I suck a DAMN good cock too.
Public Msg #813118 *Quotes* 02:11 06-OCT-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: Mikez
Subj: Ooer! You're on top!
> (Zodiac:Messages): ooer, youre on top
>
> 08 Mikez 24 M 1013 2400 4526 4526 S Main menu
> 09 Zuid 83 M 2023 2400 4378 4378 H Messages
> 10 Zodiac 16 F 349 2400 2919 2919 A Messages
>
> /p Mikez Zodiac was pleasant enough to point out that I am
> directly and immediately above her in the /#. With "ooer" in
> front of it.
>
> (Mikez:Main menu): May I also point out to you that I am now
> smearing my dick in Vaseline and you'd better be careful.
Public Msg #814693 *Quotes* 16:26 09-OCT-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Alt (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Active is full of sex-crazed maniacs
> (Mumbi:Main menu [ALL]): some try to get me off
And then, about half a minute later...
> (Equinoxe:Main menu): suck my dick <nod>
You've gotta wonder about some people...
Public Msg #821145 *Quotes* 21:24 23-OCT-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Beach (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: .
Fw by Mikez
WIN OR LOSE
A loser is always part of the answer; a loser is part of the problem
A winner always has a program; a loser always has an excuse
A winner says, "let me help you"; and loser says, "that's not my job"
A winner sees an answer for every problem' a loser sees a problem for
every answer
Awinner says, "it may be difficult but it's possible"; a loser says,"it
may be possible but it's too difficult
Public Msg #821260 *Quotes* 11:50 26-OCT-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Jaseo (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: La Botte
This was funny at the time <as they always are> :)
We were having dinner at some Italian place. We ask for some ashtrays..
not for me tho, since I gave up :) Anyway, waitress brings us 3.
So a few friends start smoking... then this man a few tables away gets
up and tells us that we are in a no smoking area and could we please
put out the cigarettes. We see no "NO SMOKING" signs, plus the waitress
gave us ashtrays.. but to be polite, everyone ashes.. except one of
my rude friends who thinks it's his right to smoke every last ounce
of tobacco. So this man keeps slowly peering over in disgust.. and his
wife is there pretending to fan away smoke with her menu. At this
stage we all think it's pretty funny, as does the table next to us..
On the request of a waitress, we all move to much nicer table where
my friends can smoke their health away :)
As the anti-smoking couple go to pay their bill, the wife comes over
and says, "do you know what smoking does to you?"
This is where we consult the government health warnings for answers.
"nonono.. it's much worse than that.", she says.
yeah?
"yep.. smoking shrinks your testicles and they can drop off."
"well that's ok, I have massive balls.", a friend says in a matter-of
-fact way.
now well and truly in smart-arse mode, he continues.. "can I ask you
a personal question? does your husband have big testicles?"
"Huuuuuuuugge."
then another friend quickly says, "shame about the rest of him."
<much laughter>
.. then a guy from the table behind us comes over and says, "if she
thinks smoking shrinks your testicles, she should see what cocaine
does after prolonged use."
<weird> but true :)
Public Msg #849352 *Quotes* 22:04 22-NOV-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Chucky (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <sigh> :)
Public Msg #849351 *Active* 22:03 22-NOV-96
From: Kermitt
To: ** ALL **
Subj: To All Ladies
<N>ext <P>revious <T>hread e<X>it <R>ead?
Im a great lookin guy,i have great big knob which the ladies luv, if any
of u honeyz want it,its 9 and a half inches long, dont go thinking im
dirty or anything, but give me a reply
Kermitt!!!!
Public Message
Privat<E> <R>eply <T>hread <P>revious e<X>it <N>ext?
:)
Public Msg #854393 *Quotes* 21:47 03-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Hoju (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: When sysops get bored.
(Wheels:Games Conference): I think Nick may have /tr BWhahwhahadh wheels
once too many times tonight =)
LINE USER-ID AGE SEX CALLS BAUD CREDS ONLINE A OPTION SELECTED
06 Wheels 21 M 2177 2400 4001182 4001182 C Games
Conference
:):) Suspend him!!! -Hoju
Public Msg #854838 *Quotes* 18:41 04-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Maccad (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pickup lines
Fw by Rex
Here are two of the worst pickup lines I have heard in my enitre life
(not used on/by me):
ÿ
1. I want to make love to you in so many different ways you're bound to
like one of them.
ÿ
2. Ok, I'll get to the point: I'm setting my sights at sex, but I'll
settle for heavy foreplay.
ÿ
Charming.
Maccad
Public Msg #855735 *Quotes* 12:32 06-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Vladdy (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: cocks.txt
As you may be able to see from the erm, title of this message, it is
about male (and female) genetalia. :)
Its a capture from Games today :)
Starting with;
Jimx: what would you do if you had a 3km long dick?
-Vladdy!
Public Msg #856582 *Quotes* 03:02 08-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimx (1 Reply) (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: What's this mean??
> Ringo: I to like want many people want to lick.
úJiMXú664
Public Msg #856808 *Quotes* 19:03 08-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Primate (Awarded 400 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Nickz, the priest! :)
(Nickz:Messages): With the Sysop powers vested in me, in the name of Active,
i now pronounce you Husband and Activite. You may fop the bride ... and just
to you :)
Primate!
Public Msg #857046 *Quotes* 08:47 08-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Rhonda (6 Replies) (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: circumcision
Well in around July I asked several people (well, guys) if they were
circumcised just for some light entertainment. No seriously, I was just
interested in the % of guys who were and who weren't.
I can't remember but I think it was around 80% weren't and 20% were.
Anyway here are some of the interesting quotes. Hmm..
do you always start a conversation that way?
WTF? YOu doing a survey, or something? :)
Uh huh. Have you ever had a hysterectomy?
QL... maybe we can compare medical records some time. :)
.
none of your business, but no
.
FUCK OFF BITCH!
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?
what kind of a q is that???
./p x ok look no1's going to know ok? im just doing a survey..
there are no names
well then say that! no i am not (thank god)
.
./p x im doing a survey for a hobby
why don't you do one about size too :)
** Logoff: x (M), 1200 bps, 9916 / 4915 credits - Lost Carrier
line got circumcised for no reason. :)
.
just out of interest do you like ppl to be cut or uncut? Or doesn't
make a difference to you? Could be a poll you could ask the ladies... :)
.
(Jason:Messages): u wanna find out ? :)
./p jaso your place or mine?
(Jason:Messages): yours but hen again neither iof your that desperate
./p jas that didn't make any sense
(Jason:Messages): i said neither...if your that desperate u must be a horror
to look at :)
./p jas so are u circumcised? if u dont want to tell me just say so
./p jas i mean i understand, u dont eve know me
(Jason:Messages): but i want to show u
./p jas but i thought u didn't want to see me cos you thought i looked a horror
(Jason:Messages): so when u waana see?
./p jas tomorow?
(Jason:Messages): hmmmm u think u could give us say 2000 credits?
./p jas give me the answer to my Question first and i'll give you anything u
want, baby
(Jason:Messages): because i need them for tonight? :)
(Jason:Messages): yeah if u want to really :)
Jason:Messages): ill answre if u give me 4000
(Jason:Messages): well ??? :)
(Jason:Messages): are u there???????
(Jason:Messages): answer me please baby :)
(Jason:Messages): ????
(Jason:Messages): can i have some credits????
(Jason:Messages): dont u wanna know any more??
(Jelly:Messages): you got quoted
./p jel oh shit
Jason is paging you from Messages [*11]
./f jason
.
why, will it make your sex life better ?
<from jelly pmail>:
ok dude i dont care what you wanna think, if she didnt right it then
someone else is using her account, coz thats fucked up shit and i
wouldn't make that shit up.... i aint like that !
.
Exsqeeze me? :)
Why did you ask me that? :)
./p x its for a survey, so are u?
no
Funny how these surveys are always provocative...
Sure your not getting off on this info? :)
.
(x:Messages): Are you?
./p x tell me first
(x:Messages): Which do you think is better? :)
.
(x:Games Conference): thats not fare cant u give me more like 2000 or 3000?
(x:Games Conference): give me more and we can meet or somthing i dont know.
.
(x:Messages): well thats a new way of saying ello. never had that approach
tried before. :=}
.
(x:Messages): charming :) - I'd quote that if it hadn't been already :)
.
.
Phew, I got through that without being disconnected.
Rhonda4588/
Merry Christmas
Public Msg #858142 *Quotes* 23:12 10-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Sleepy (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: eehheh
** Login: Fred (ú), 2400 bps, 10001 / 5000 credits
Swig: how come Fred always logs on with one tit hanging out? :)
Public Msg #858704 *Quotes* 23:42 11-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Heroin?
I had no idea it was this bad:
(Honey:Messages): This must be a record 10 H Users online
MikeZ.
Public Msg #860283 *Quotes* 22:09 15-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Page Watchers
After about 10 mins hassling Voodoo, I was wondering why he hadn't
replied or paged me yet. Naturally, I was expecting something
intelligent as a response. Eventually, he paged:
(Voodoo:Personal Mailbox [Mikez/Honey]): fucking leave me alone cunts
Charming!
MikeZ.
Public Msg #860823 *Quotes* 00:07 17-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Yes sir! =)
ð (Johnz:Messages): Listen cunt! I have sysop powers and I could
ð easily fuck you over!
ùðWðù
Public Msg #861494 *Quotes* 16:03 18-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Chinglish.
I bought a new tripod for my camera today. The box says:
GIOTTOS Photo Tripod
Mystery ú Perfection ú Immortal
GIOTTOS tripod design is quite neat and rigid. The appearance is so
modern and streamlined, which properly combine toughness and gentleness,
also break through the conventional symmetrical design. This new series
patent products project more attractive and more elegant professional
image, which refresh your emotion and touch.
RUBBER FEET
Provide anti-slip function to prevent the tripod movement.
..so there *are* employment opportunities for Pazzo? =)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #863311 *Quotes* 15:54 22-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Akuma (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Didn't I say "Just Say No" ??
[shakes head] Here we go..
¯ Mosen (to you): hey watcha been upto l8ly
¯ tell mosen been up to my ears in work and play :) .. yourself?
¯ Beach (to you): are you in a play?
¯ tell bea erm .. no <?>
¯ Beach (to you): you were up to your ears in it
¯ tell bea nononononono - you're not following dear :) play - as in
¯ recreation:)
¯ Beach (to you): so you're in a play..but not to make money? eh?
¯ tell bea [slaps forehead] .. are you going for "Slow Award 1996"
¯ Beach hon??? .. . I'm *NOT* in a play - I'm up to my ears in work
¯ (you know, unfun stuff?) and p lay (fun stuff - not theatrical)
¯ Sonic (to Beach): he means play is in play :)..you know..kicking
¯ around a soccer ball :)
¯ tell son the day I go outside (a) in the sun by choice (b)
¯ exercise will be t he day I let my hair colour go back to it's
¯ natural shade. :)
¯ Beach (to you): what soccer team?
¯ oh god
¯ [slaps forehead]
-=> <=-
-=> <=-ÿÿ
-=> <=-ÿÿÿ
AKUMA
AKUMA
AKUMA
AKUMA
AKUMA
AKUMA
® he's got the answers to ease my curiosity ¯
Public Msg #864493 *Quotes* 00:09 25-DEC-96 *EXEMPT*
From: Tyrell
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Twas the nite before XMas.
You are in the Games channel
Cupid, Comet, Kojak, Kev, Doomlord, Tabs, Prancer, Alex, Dona,
and Rudolph are here
ÿ
What occurs to me is, how does a reindeer operate a keyboard
doesn't that require, like, opposable digits or something?
Rudolph (to you): with it's hooves of course
Dona (to you): we're magic :)
Prancer: Tyrell, voice recognition.
Prancer: Tyrell, written by IBM. You sea it very intel agent
four saying on screen yes.
Rudolph (to you): If we can fly we can do fucken anything
ÿ
ÿ
TyReLL
Public Msg #868454 *Quotes* 20:53 02-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Doomlord (Awarded 250 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Vertigo's dillemma...
Beats Active Poll....
(Vertigo:Games):[ALL] I have come to the point where I dont know
wether to logoff or hang around, so ill take votes.
A short time later...
MI> (Vertigo:Messages [ALL]): 2 to stay, one to go, one to cut my
MI> dick or, one undecided, and 2 scabbing for credits
Dear oh deary me...
-=DoomLord=-
Public Msg #868799 *Quotes* 16:43 03-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimx (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: funnee!!
> Public Msg #868521 *Trading* 23:33 02-JAN-97
> From: Mikez (1 Reply)
> To: Choppa
> Subj: Poota
> Reply to #867711, Reply to #867539,*
>
> <N>ext <P>revious <T>hread e<X>it <R>ead?
>
> > how much?
> > what type(speed)?
> > ram
>
> Have you set your terminal to 20 characters or something?
>
> MikeZ.
>
> Public Message
> Privat<E> <R>eply <S>igOp <T>hread <P>revious e<X>it <N>ext?
>
>
> Public Msg #868583 *Trading* 08:19 03-JAN-97
> From: Choppa (1 Reply)
> To: Mikez
> Subj: Poota
> Reply to #868521, Reply to #867711,*
>
> <N>ext <P>revious <T>hread e<X>it <R>ead?
>
> what are u on about
> setting my terminal to 20 characters
> are u sad or what
>
> Public Message
> Privat<E> <R>eply <S>igOp <T>hread <P>revious e<X>it <N>ext?
úJiMXú664
Public Msg #870704 *Quotes* 22:31 07-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Computer fun!
ð I'm bored. =( What are some fun things I can do?
ð Johnz: Wheels, play a joy stick game and control it with your arse?
ùðWðù
Public Msg #871411 *Quotes* 17:33 09-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimx (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: megaquote #4
I really can see perfectly!
Wilbur: myopiv
"O dobt wank!", claims Wilbur, "O cab see petfectly!"
ú
Subtle hint.
Zamiel (to Elsha): hay! i rang that number you gave me three times and
all i got was a fax machine
ú
Customer service.
Skyfire: hell with that. westbus should respect me as a loyal customer.
i shouuld be allowed to shit on their bus.
ú
Innocence of being under 21.
Jimx (to Immortal): so put something in her mouth to stop her talking :)
Immortal: Jim, I'm not much of a BJ person.
Arnie: someone say blakjack?
ú
Vertigo the funny [black] bastard.
Vertigo <sings>: My island bbs, is logged for me
Vertigo is booted out of chat by Pauline Hanson.
Vertigo: If I was aboriginal, I'd claim active as part of Mabo.
Vertigo (to Skyfire): You don't remember the days us blackfella would
log on here with a 2400bps woomera.
Vertigo: Fukcken white fella stole my credits too.
<- Vertigo
þ Vertigo þ Zap!...
** Logoff: Vertigo (M), 2400 bps, 19 / 19 credits - Normal Exit
ú
Honesty.
Alex (to you): im not here for the girls im here because there's
nothing else to do
Mills: fag
ú
úJiMXú664
Public Msg #872086 *Quotes* 19:43 11-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Active's new improvements =)
ð ** Login: Khaine (M), 2400 bps, 6001 / 3000 credits
ð
ð (Khaine:Main menu): hi! :) hey, if there're 14400 modems connected,
ð why didn't I get a 14400 connect??? :)
ð
ð -ðð( MAIN G C M P S I R B D U X ? )ðð- /p khaine Only 2 of the line
ð are 14.4K, and they're the last 2 to connect, unless you dial them
ð directly =)
ð
ð (Dweeb:Messages): Why .. Julia and Fire..
ð
ð Paged Khaine
ð
ð (Khaine:Messages): whats the direct number?
ð
ð (Khaine:Messages): I may as well give it a try...
ð
ð ** Logoff: Khaine (M), 2400 bps, 5973 / 2972 credits - Normal Exit
ð
ð ** Login: Khaine (M), 300 bps, 5973 / 3000 credits
ùðWðù
Public Msg #872090 *Quotes* 20:00 11-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Dweeb (1 Reply)
To: Doomlord
Subj: Dweeb's habits...
Reply to #872087
Don't reply to quotes!
úúÅDweebÅúú
See Ya
DD
iw
le
be
ub
r!
DD
iw
le
be
ub
r!
DD
iw
le
be
ub
r!
See Ya
Dweeb! Dee! D! !D !eeD !beewD !eeD
!D D! Dee! Dweeb!
D w b . ..
Dwb...DwB...
Sigop - /Nothing
DDDD
wwwwÿ
eeeeÿ
eeeeÿ
bbbbÿ
!!!!ÿ
wÿ ee e eÿe eÿeÿÿÿ bÿb b bÿ ÿ
bÿ!ÿ! ! ! ! ! ÿ
DDD
www
eee
eee
bbbÿÿÿ
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
Dweeb
DDD
www
eee
eee
bbb
!beewD
ÿD
ÿw
ÿ e
ÿe
ÿb
ÿ!
DD
ww
ee
ee
bb
!!
(:(:
¯ ®
D D D
w ew ew e
e be be b
!!!
ÿ¯weeb!®ÿ
ÿÿ¯eeb®ÿ
ÿÿÿ¯e®ÿ
ÿÿÿ * ú úú úÿÿ
ÿÿÿ * ú úú úÿÿ
®s¯ÿÿ
®eeb¯
®weeb!¯
®Dweeb!¯ÿ
®¯
> <
D D D
w !w !w !
e be be !
eee
_>weeb!<_ÿ
ÿ_>eeb<_ÿ
ÿÿ_>e<_ÿ
ÿÿÿ _*_ú úú úÿÿ
ÿÿÿ <*> ú úú úÿÿ
<_s_>ÿÿ
<_eeb_>
<_weeb!_>
óDweeb!òÿ
óò
ÚÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ¿
³ÂÄÄ¿Â Â ÂÄÄ¿ ÂÄÄ¿ ÂÄÄ¿³
³³ ³³ ³ ³ ³ ³ þ³³
³³ ³³ Â ³ ÃÄ ÃÄ ³ Ä<³
³ÁÄÄÙÀÄÁÄÙ ÁÄÄÙ ÁÄÄÙ ÁÄÄÙ³
ÀÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÙ
Mine's better Oracle.
[hug.primate] :)
Public Msg #872097 *Quotes* 21:29 11-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Khaine
To: ** ALL **
Subj: the new addition to /#
ð> 01 Dweeb 13 M 157 659 2400 4865 4865 H Main
ð> menu
ð> (Wheels:Games Conference [ALL]): Dweeb - your IQ is too high again
ð> =)
ð> (Dweeb:Messages [ALL]): Get!
ð> (Dweeb:Messages [ALL]): get out k//o/f// /m/e/
ð> ///h/sjafh/kja/hfk/ahd/f/
ð> Wheels: Sorry. =) Dweeb and I had a little scuffle over the
ð> ownership of his account. =)
ROFL!
Khaine
Public Msg #872103 *Quotes* 22:41 11-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (3 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Recipe for disaster #1 =)
This is what happens when there are 6 people online and you give them
all Zap access, with the STRICT instruction to not zap anyone!!!! =)
ð 21:49 01/11/97 CHANNEL 13 ZAPPED!!!: doomlord by Hoju
ð 21:49 01/11/97 CHANNEL 13 ZAPPED!!!: khaine by Hoju
ð 21:48 01/11/97 CHANNEL 13 ZAPPED!!!: chomu by Hoju
ð 21:48 01/11/97 CHANNEL 12 ZAPPED!!!: doomlord by Khaine
ð 21:47 01/11/97 CHANNEL 12 ZAPPED!!!: hoju by Khaine
ð 21:47 01/11/97 CHANNEL 13 ZAPPED!!!: doomlord by Hoju
ð 21:47 01/11/97 CHANNEL 03 ZAPPED!!!: khaine by Chomu
ð 21:46 01/11/97 CHANNEL 12 ZAPPED!!!: hoju by Khaine
ð 21:46 01/11/97 CHANNEL 13 ZAPPED!!!: doomlord by Hoju
ð 21:46 01/11/97 CHANNEL 12 ZAPPED!!!: dweeb by Khaine
So, anyone ELSE want to be a cosysop? Previous applicants need not apply
=)
ùðWðù
Public Msg #872299 *Quotes* 12:27 12-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (5 Replies) (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: THS
I over-heard a stranger (not associated with Active) say this to a friend at
Town Hall steps during the last movienight:
"What's this? The Adams family reunion?"
Clean up the act, guys :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #872378 *Quotes* 16:07 12-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Charming Cosysops
Wheels: Well, line 10 is only a psuedo 9600 modem. =) It was donated by
Dazza, and surprisingly has alot in common with him. It's huge, bad
tempered and rarely works. =)
<laugh>
...NickZ.
Public Msg #872470 *Quotes* 20:18 12-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid
To: Mikez
Subj: ..
Public Msg #872256 *Suggest* 10:59 12-JAN-97
From: Orchy
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Account sharing.
I think the sysops should get tough on ppl who engage in fraud - yes I
feel strong language is required here - by using others' accounts. Not
only is it a violation of cyberrights by cruelly assuming another
identity, but it means ppl who really should not be allowed to use the
system can break the rules and spread their abusive, anti-social ways to
the the good ppl of Active.
Such ppl should be banned immediately.
PENGO!
Public Msg #878250 *Quotes* 23:21 22-JAN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ??
According to the /#, this caller was definitely on at 2400:
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): Whats wrong with line 14? It says its at 2400 but
it looks like 1200. What do you think/
./p xxx Ummm...Are you *sure* it's 1200?
(Xxxxxxx:Games Conference): It's coming up on my screen really slow
like it was at 1200
./p xxx Well that's weird...I can't explain it.
(Xxxxxxx:Games Conference): Are they all connected to the one computer?
./p xxx Yeah.
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): Is it a different modem to the rest?
./p xxx Nope.
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): It's the same 2400 as all the other 2400's ?
./p xxx Well, different brand.
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): I cant figure it out then. Have you seen what
line 14 looks like online?
./p xxx Yeah...I've been on line 14 before.
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): Did you notice it going slow?
./p xxx No.
(Xxxxxxx:Messages): My modem is a 14400 So it's not at my end
./p xxx No...it's actually quite a fine modem.
Would anyone like to be a Sysop? :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #906235 *Quotes* 01:33 30-MAR-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Orchy (Awarded 100 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Rooty Hill literacy.
I gave Sophie an address in a msg and she kept saying there was none
there. I checked it myself and it was sitting right there, to which she
said :
(Sophie:Messages): Oh, You did too, I just skimmed the message, I hate
reading, You hid it in a sentence :)
Public Msg #911864 *Quotes* 10:52 14-APR-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Fire (Awarded 250 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Look deep into my crystal ball...
> (Pengo:Chatline): i was playing poker with tarot cards on the weekend..
> i got a full house and four people died.
Oh my!
Fire
Public Msg #912112 *Quotes* 20:14 14-APR-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: Jimx
FILE: Kev_Del.cap
Reply to #912095
> Don't get on Nickz's bad side.
>
> bú ** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 7259 / 4823 credits - Deleted
> bú
> bú (Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): FARRRRRRRRRK!!! SHit!!!! I went to
> bú delete "Fridge" and deleted KEV by mistake!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK FUCK
> bú FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> úJiMXú664
Well, for those of you who are interested in what it was like from my
point of view, here's a capture of the entire thing :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #915944 *Quotes* 15:28 23-APR-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Jedd (1 Reply) (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: Edison
Subj: universe? what universe?
A relevant quote from Einstein :
"The human mind is not capable of grasping the Universe. We are
like a little child entering a huge library. The walls are covered
to the ceilings with books in many different tongues. The child
knows that someone must have written these books. It does not know
who or how. It does not understand the languages in which they are
written. But the child notes a definite plan in the arrangement of
the books - a mysterious order which it does not comprehend, but
only dimly suspects."
Public Msg #917191 *Quotes* 15:31 27-APR-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 200 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Milk Beach
The other night at Milk Beach, I was sitting there astounded for
about a minute watching and listening to Tabs...after several blinks of
disbelief, I said to him "Tabs, you actually are an idiot, aren't you?"
to which he replied (and imagine the deep slow Tabs voice) "I am not an
idiot...........<pause>.........I'm a lamer".
MikeZ.
Public Msg #922075 *Quotes* 21:16 07-MAY-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: I knew it!
(Wheels:Games Conference): Smarmyness always *has* been my forte. This
is what attracted me to the Customer Service industry - not a genuine
caring for the customer, but a general contempt for the general public
behind a facade which radiates understanding. =)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #929132 *Quotes* 00:13 25-MAY-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Rasputin (2 Replies) (Awarded 5000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ehloeololeeholehe:)
Copy by Mikez
load "mumbi talk"
loading...
ready.
list
1 print "mumbi talk v4.00 (unregistered)"
2 print "===== ==== ===== =============="
10 dim a$(10)
20 a$(1)="peace":a$(2)="is":a$(3)="loving":a$(4)="happy":a$(5)="sharing"
30 a$(6)="truly":a$(7)="deeply":a$(8)="care":a$(9)="people":a$(10)="for"
40 for k=1 to 5
50 for m=1 to 5
60 x=int(rnd(1)*10)+1
70 print a$(x);" ";
80 next m
90 print
100 next k
110 print
120 print "ok"
130 print "mumbi"
run
care sharing deeply is people
deeply care is care truly
for truly is for loving
truly peace sharing care sharing
care deeply people happy truly
ok .
mumbi
Public Msg #930625 *Quotes* 00:54 30-MAY-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Fun guy
Some people just don't know how to have fun. Luckily, Nick goes off:
(Nickz:Games Conference): hey!! Wanna make noodles some day from
scratch!??? :) I mean actually mix up the flour and shit and make
noodles :) :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #931670 *Quotes* 22:07 01-JUN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: The Big Scam
I logged on using a local line to read Smiley mail. What happened
next I didn't really expect. Nick, for some reason, assumed I was
Voodoo so I couldn't resist but play along :)
==================================================================
(Nickz:Personal Mailbox): vre! :)
./p nick Vre slap!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
./p ni Something is wrong, Vre.
./p nic Active is making crackling sounds, Vre! I could hear it from
upstairs and I logged on...it smells like something isburning...what
do I do?
(Nickz:Main menu): serious!????????????? Is the sound coming from the
computer itself or one of the modems?
./p nic the computer! honey is worried!!!!!!!!!!!!1
./p nic Nick I may have to turn it all off!
(Nickz:Main menu): how long has it been doing this for????
./p nic Just now! It was o loud we heard it from upstairs!
(Nickz:Main menu): yeah, i agree... hmm.... shit!!
./p nic sorry vre but I cant leave it on :(
(Nickz:Main menu): Oh??????? but it's not doing it now? I'll callyou!!
./p nic No!!! Don't call!
(Nickz:Main menu): why?
./p ni Honey is dloading something from the net for the last few hours.
(Nickz:Main menu): Ok... lets go direct!!!
./p nic It's starting to smoke!
./p nic I have to turn it off! I have to!
(Nickz:Main menu): ok, shut active down then!!
./p nick Ok vre! G'night!! Page everyone! Quick!
(Nickz:Main menu): and call me using one of active's lines!! call
my mobile!
(Nickz:Main menu): turn it off!!!
(Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): active has to go down!!
(Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): sorry!!!
(Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): bbak up later!!
(Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): bye!!
./p kev/susanz/medieval/mabster/spychoo/lefty/footos/petch/akuma NO!
Wait! It's a joke I'm playing on Nick!
./p kev/susanz/medieval/mabster/spychoo/lefty/footos/petch/akuma I
logged on as Smiley pretending I'm voodoo and that Active has caught
fire!
(Nickz:Main menu): was that you???
(Nickz:Main menu): you're not playing a joke on me, are you?
(Nickz:Main menu): rubbiush!! you serious????????????????????????
(Nickz:Main menu [ALL]): false alarm!!
==================================================================
Ós¼e£ü5U
NO CARRIER
Yeah, he zapped me :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #941064 *Quotes* 10:39 26-JUN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Griffon (1 Reply) (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Goth
Ophelia <walking in the door>: I was just following a goth, but then I
realised that it was merely a greek orthodox priest.
Griffon:)
Public Msg #942161 *Quotes* 14:18 29-JUN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mistaken Identity
Several years ago, John, Nick, and I went to the Blue Mountains.
Later that night, we ended up alone at a lookout and it was very dark.
Most importantly, there was no ambient light in the sky like you get in
the city, so you could see many stars. This interested John and he
started looking at them with his binoculars.
Not being one to let John have any fun, I decided to piss him off :)
Whenever he looked through them, I would shine a torch up into the sky
above where he was looking, and it would light up the haze etc in
the sky and ruin his binocular view. I did this about 7 times, and
after each time I was met with progressively worse abuse for doing it.
Like "Stop it, Mike"..."C'mon enough!"..."Look!! Stop being a prick!"
etc etc...Eventually, I decided to stop.
About 30 seconds after this, a little old man casually walks up to the
lookout clutching his torch. He stands behind John and innocently
points his torch into the sky and turns it on, to which John explodes
and says "LOOK!! JUST FUCK-OFF WITH THE FUCKING TORCH WILL YA!!!!!!!" as
he swings around and notices it wasn't me, but the little old man who had
done it!
The old man turned off his torch, and quietly walked off.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #942212 *Quotes* 14:47 29-JUN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Golf
One day when we were kids (John was about 7 years old or so), we
decided to have a game of Mini Golf (putt putt). Anyone who has played
this game knows that most holes have "hazards" such as a windmill that
requires you to time your putt so that you get through the windmill
without hitting the turning windmill blades etc. At this particular
Mini Golf centre, one of the hazards was in the shape of a small cannon.
The cannon was hollow in the centre, and the lower part was contacting
the ground. The trick was to hit the ball hard towards the base of the
cannon, and it would fly through the barrel and shoot out the other end.
At this point, I started thinking that there must be some way I can
play a joke on John. I lay down on the ground and looked up the barrel
of the cannon and said "Wow!" and John said "What!?" and I said "This
is amazing! Wow!" and he said "Let me look!!" I said "No! Wow! Wow!"
and by this stage, he's dying to take a look! I said "oh ok! Take
a look" so he lay down on the ground and looked up the barrel of the
cannon.
I got up and moved towards the front of the cannon. He said "What's
so good about it!? All I can see is the sky!?". This is when I dropped
a golf ball down the other end of the cannon which was now accellerating
rapidly towards his right eye looking up the other end. I figured we
were 3 seconds from contact. John says "Hey!? It's gone all black!"
precisely 1/2 a second before the most amazing scream of pain!!
Fun huh?
MikeZ.
Public Msg #942558 *Quotes* 17:22 30-JUN-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: :)
> (Dinn:Messages): What has a small dick, and hangs down? :)
>
> (Dinn:Messages): A bat.
>
> (Dinn:Messages): What has a big dick, and hangs up? :)
>
> ** Logoff: Dinn (M), 2400 bps, 9473 / 656 credits - Normal Exit
Public Msg #952637 *Quotes* 23:57 31-JUL-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Serenity
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Elite <worry> :)
Elite: I wish i was a woman, i'd sit in front of the mirror and play
with my chest all day
Serenity.
Public Msg #962830 *Quotes* 12:44 05-SEP-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Durry (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: alt.sex
just thought this might interest some ppl :
(Alt:Messages [Bug/Durry]): so, despite unsubstantiated rumours that my
mind is sufficiently engaged on the wonderful frivolity and teeming
intercourse on this wonderful BBS, the truth of the matter is that I'm
as bored as Immortal in a nunnery
durry :)
Public Msg #963369 *Quotes* 00:59 07-SEP-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Well, funny(ish)
(Xxxxxxxxx): Imagine if rasputin beat you up, each time he hit you, he'd
stop and ask if you were okay...
<shrugs> I found it funny at the time :)
Public Msg #963649 *Quotes* 20:47 07-SEP-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Spychoo (1 Reply) (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hhaha i m smrt.
> Lebo: i have to give noone a page
> Lebo: i couldn't talk before and noone was getting smart
> Zuid: You don't like smart people, do you Lebo?
> Lebo: how did u guess :)
Public Msg #967793 *Quotes* 18:55 23-SEP-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Lazer (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Johnz! :)
While in chat..
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): I confess! I am a closet fag!
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): I confess! I am a closet fag!
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): I confess! I am a closet fag!
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): Who's the cunt that changed my macro!!!!!!!!
ÿ
Zuid <thinking out loud>: Mike or Nick wrote a script or something? :)
Zuid is chuckling under his breath.
Swig: look out guys! he wants to put his dick in your trousers. :)
ÿ
(Lestat:Games Conference [ALL]): Can't take it back now, JohnZ.
The truth is "out". :)
ÿ
(Immortal:Games Conference [ALL]): closet? You'd fit in a bedside
drawer. :)
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): Nick fucken changed my /# macro!
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): .... little prick!
ÿ
ÿ
(Immortal:Games Conference [ALL]): you have a macro to do /#! You fag!
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): Oh great! Now everyone knows I have a /# macro!
ÿ
(Lestat:Games Conference [ALL]): Welll, to be honest, we all pretty much
knew about the other thing.. :)
ÿ
(Johnz:Messages [ALL]): <Dark>
ÿ
Lestat is laughing his head off!
Lestat: Woo. :)
Lestat: He's dark with me
Lestat is getting very dark with Lestat!
Immortal: Lestat, what's he going to do, kneecap you?
Lestat is laughing at Immortal!
Immortal: that's if he can reach. :)
:) :) Lazer :) :)
Public Msg #969838 *Quotes* 14:46 30-SEP-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Durry (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ?
Well, I'd say our greatest weakness is our lack of strength.
Of course, i think you'll see some improvement as we get better.
-Footy Team Coach
durry :)
Public Msg #973555 *Quotes* 22:30 13-OCT-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Retro on a whole new level.
> Ashera (to Vertigo): I went out to a great 80's nightclub in
> Hobart.. I was in heaven!
> Vertigo (to Ashera): It wasn't an 80's club. It was Hobart trying
> to catch up with the times.
Public Msg #979098 *Quotes* 01:37 31-OCT-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Jimx (Awarded 750 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: quotes6.
The 6th episode of quotes.
----
Multiple urges.
Zero: i need some sex, and i'm hungry.. this could be bad
ú
Are these two things related?
Diablo: oh god I still haven
Diablo: I still haven
Diablo: I still haven't got a hair cut yet, or learned to type.
ú
Educational.
(Spawn:Games Conference [ALL]): what the F!???!?!?
(Ralph:Messages [ALL]): F is the 6th letter of the alphabet
ú
Is she talking about her typing hand?
(Attitude:Messages): Nah, itjustgetssore when I w ake up in the
morning : (
ú
Really short memory!
Oracle is angry! <hiss>
Rez is angry! <hiss>
Jimx is angry! <hiss>
>>about 15 seconds later>>
Oracle: angry
Oracle: oops
Oracle is angry! <hiss>
Oracle: even
Oracle: :)
Oracle: hi :)
ú
Damn gambling!
Rez: Don't you just hate it when you bet someone a head job that you
can win a pool game, and you lose because you pot the black ball on
the break
ú
Love 'em and leave 'em, I say.
(Cupid:Games Conference): HEllo? I came and u left
ú
Brotherly love.
[asking about something happening on TV that we're both watching]
./p mike is that a bucket of shit? :)
(Mikez:Messages): No...it's my brother.
(Mikez:Messages): Oh you mean on TV, no that was oil :)
ú
Bodily functions
Frankie: Got a large peice of snot in my nose, with the consistancy of
silicone. Can't seem to get it out.
Frankie: Slips from my fingers and springs back in.
ú
----
úJiMXú
Public Msg #979980 *Quotes* 20:13 02-NOV-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: phone:
Gokuu: THATS WHAT THE ASIAN SUMO CLUB LOOKS LIKE I SWEAR.. <pause> ALL
ASIAN VOODOO'S!
<voodoo as in the sysop> :)
oks
Public Msg #980041 *Quotes* 23:34 02-NOV-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mouse (Awarded 250 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: How To Order A Taxi By Phone...
1: When asked for a pick up address, always give your destination.
2: If asked, "Is that a house or a unit?" simply reply, "Yes."
3: If you are inebriated, make sure you forget where you are, where
you're going and just tell the telephonist that you're at Simon and
Dave's place and that you're going to McDonalds.
4: Immediately after giving the details, ask, "How long?" (That is if
you can get this question in before the Telephonist disconnects you.)
5: If you have been waiting on hold for longer than usual, particularly
on wet Friday nights, weekends, Public Holidays or New Year's Eve,
remember to ask the obvious question - "Are you busy?"
6: Elderly people have a choice of three destinations; the Doctor's,
the Hairdresser or the R.S.L. club.
7: Elderly people must also start each booking by asking, "Is that the
Taxis?" to which the telephonist must reply, "No, this is Pizza Hut,
what sort of pizza would you like?"
8: Always ask the Telephonist's name. This gives you someone to blame
personally and scream at when your taxi fails to arrive before you put
the phone down.
9: Never wait outside your premises. Always expect the Taxi Driver to
come to you door, carry you to the Taxi, take out the rubbish bin and
feed the cat.
10: When making a complaint, always ask to speak to the Supervisor.
This person is solely responsible for whatever may have happened and
should be abused accordingly.
11: On rainy days when it is often difficult to get a taxi, say, "But
I'm a regular!" or "But I'm paying by Cabcharge."
<cont>.....
Public Msg #980042 *Quotes* 23:36 02-NOV-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mouse (Awarded 250 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: How To Order A Taxi By Phone Continued...
12: If you are calling from an address that is difficult to find,
rather than go into detail giving specific directions, just advise the
Telephonist that, "All the Taxi Drivers know it."
13: You are the customer. Therefore, you may speak to the Telephonist
in any manner which you see fit. Why not try and see how many
profanities you can fit into the same sentence. Burping is also
acceptable.
14: If you've called three times this week to complain already, make
sure to say, "I don't usually do this, but...."
15: Young ladies travelling alone at night may ask for a female driver.
This request is not at all unreasonable and is quite easy to accomodate.
16: When calling back to check on a booking, always exaggerate. For
instance, "I've been waiting for over an hour and now I'm soaking wet."
Don't be suprised if the Telephonist replies, "But you only called six
minutes ago and it is currently 32 degrees."
17: When sending home that person who looked so attractive to you the
night before, always remember his/her name before calling the cab and
book the pick up for the nearest street corner.
18: When you ring to check on a taxi and you are told that we phoned
you, but only got the answering machine, insist that the telephone has
not rung.
19: When ringing from a party, make sure not to have any of the details
ready until the Telephonist is asking for them. Then you can create a
Party Game by asking everyone within earshot what the address is. That
way, we all get to join in.
20: When asked for the phone number of the pickup address, make sure
you give your home phone number and then say, "But that's where I'm
going to."
21: Always insist on a call on approach and then turn on the answering
machine. If you really want to be helpful, give the mobile number and
then divert it to Voicemail.
22: Finally, never leave enough time to get to where you are going.
This applies especially to people who are booking a taxi to go to the
Airport. If you live in Palm Beach, it is quite acceptable to leave 20
minutes to get through the peak hour traffic to the Airport.
Further, the only person who is ultimately responsible for you
missing your flight is the Telephonist. Telephonists should
know what time your flight leaves and should be able to
anticipate traffic accidents that may hinder your journey.
Follow this easy-to-use guide and you will never
again have trouble ordering a Taxi.
Mouse.
Public Msg #982839 *Quotes* 22:23 11-NOV-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Spychoo (Awarded 666 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: :)
Sorry, this had to be done :)
Note access levels:
> 04 Mikez 24 M 1:00 1497 2400 6842 6842 S
> 05 Bandito 21 M 0:19 2452 2400 7585 4244 A
> 06 Elysium 17 F 0:18 133 2400 1861 1861 T
> 07 Trent 20 M 0:24 799 2400 9045 4044 A
> 08 Kezza 17 M 0:14 138 2400 5031 2448 N
We all know what's secretly running active :)
Public Msg #984120 *Quotes* 00:24 16-NOV-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Feminine psychology..
> Elite: i finally deduced that women like doggy style so they dont
> get to look at the guys face :)
Public Msg #991350 *Quotes* 22:33 09-DEC-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: Couch
Subj: What else?? :)
Reply to #991054
> ù> (Johnz:Messages): if there're 2.5 billion males on earth, 2
> ù> billion which can produce semen, of which the testes contain about
> ù> 15 ml, that means in the world there is 30 million litres of the
> ù> stuff :-)
>
> I wonder what he does in his spare time... :)
Wastes 15 ml.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #992573 *Quotes* 16:46 13-DEC-97 *EXEMPT*
From: Alibrandi (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: No Color :)
Hi!
I was sitting in messages, reading messages, when I recieve this page:
> (Bounty:Games Conference): my screens all black an white not the
> same as usual....yours????? is it me or the system??
:) I couldn't help myself...
> ./p bount No.. It's the system. the graphics card has broken and so
> it's not transmitting in color :)
> (Bounty:Games Conference): cool thanx man thought it was it me...
> any idea on when itll be fixed
> ./p bounty Nope... Oooh. Wait. it just came back on for me.! Now
> it's gone
>
> (Bounty:Games Conference): yeah same...
Somebody tell him the truth please :)
:)
Public Msg #1035807 *Quotes* 00:46 13-JAN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Alibrandi
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Who'd You DO?
Hello...!
Trying to get some 'sexshual' convo going in Chat, I opted to start a
game of "Who'd you DO" where we go around in a circle and all say who'd
we do.. (yes, I believe NickZ is programming it... ;) ) Anyway here's a
funny reply I thought worth quoting (because no-one else would...)
Lets play "Who'd you do?" Where we all admit who we'd like to r00t :)
Mikez: I'm not falling for this, Alibrandi. You just want me to admit
once and for all that I want you.
tell mike Actually.. I had a group sex situation with all Zerviii
in mind :)
Mikez (to you): Oh sure! And if my Mum walks in and breaks us up
she'll scream "Oh my God, look what you've done to that poor man"
and we'd have to convince her you were already like that :(
:)
Public Msg #1038335 *Quotes* 17:02 19-JAN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Valiant (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ÿ
-> ** Login: Nickz (M), 2400 bps, 12001 / 12001 credits
-> (Edison:Messages [ALL]): everyone look busy
Made me smile. :)
.. Valiant [Halcon 4 Ever]
Public Msg #1040445 *Quotes* 01:04 24-JAN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Swig (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Microsoft
Windows 95
- A 32 bit patch to a 16 bit extension of an 8 bit operating system
designed for a 4 bit processor by a 2 bit company who doesn't know 1
bit about its users.
Swig.
Public Msg #1042512 *Quotes* 13:59 31-JAN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Putting in the wrong hours...
(Johnz:Messages): I have just spent half an hour talking to Angel
thinking it was Angeldust!
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1042516 *Quotes* 14:14 31-JAN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: The Horn
The Horn
--------
Many years ago, the family would occasionally hire out a
boat/cruiser to spend holidays on. These boats were quite large
(about 12m) and, for safety, had a horn to match. These horns are air
horns similar to what some people put on their cars, only they are not
musical. The intention is that they are to be sounded in fogs or to
warn other craft of a possible collision. Each year, we'd get a
different boat and hence a different horn. Some were soft, some medium,
and sometimes some were a little loud.
One year, something wonderful happened. The boat we got had a horn
that was so mind-numbingly loud that you could be locked in a cabin
below and if the horn sounded, your nerves would be shattered. My
Dad was quick to explain that due to the extremely destructive
nature of this horn, it was not to be used except in extreme
emergencies. John and Nick nodded in agreement with him, and so did
I, but already I was hatching a sinister plan.
A few days later, it was time. I was steering the boat and JohnZ
was out on the bow. I was behind glass and with the engine running,
it is very difficult for anyone on the bow to hear anything I say. I
gestured to JohnZ and began mouthing words, knowing that he wouldn't be
able to hear me...he came slightly closer. I continued and gestured
that he should come up to the window in front of me so he could hear
me. Bit by bit, I kept mouthing words and he came closer and closer.
Because he was on the cabin roof, he was now lying on his stomach,
hand cupping his left-ear, with his face almost against the glass
still trying to hear what it is I'm trying to say. Of-course, this
ploy was nothing more than a lure to position John approximately 15cm
away from the death horn, now hovering ominously beside his
conveniently cupped left-ear.
What happened next will forever be etched in my mind - I pressed
the button to sound the horn. The next 4 seconds must've seemed
like hours to John. He began to shudder and shake violently in some
uncontrollable fit...at one point almost rolling off the edge of
the boat. I was laughing hysterically when I released the button.
John paused and took a few moments to regain his composure. The
last thing I remember seeing through my tear filled eyes was an
incredibly angry John, yelling something at me that I couldn't hear
and waving his finger at me as he started to make his way into the
cabin for a huge punch-up :)
Boating is fun.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1043948 *Quotes* 19:53 05-FEB-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Dinn (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: slap!
Nickz explains Active to a (newuser): :)
> Nickz (to Wacky): and Chucky is a 14 year old hard try greek, who
> wants desperately to be one, but, just doesn't have the penis size
> for it :)
>
> Chucky (to Nickz): Yeh mate vre. ;)
Dinn
Public Msg #1044900 *Quotes* 20:54 08-FEB-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Zuid (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Babbling Baggins.
Frodo, after appearing upstairs at Akuma's house having just left the
room with the main stereo, told us this..
"I put achy breaky heart on before, but nobody wanted to hear it. I
didn't want to hear it either, so it's a good thing somebody turned it
off."
Public Msg #1050070 *Quotes* 23:28 23-FEB-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Help!
Which one of us is going to warn Scarlet?
(Primate:Messages [Nickz/Mikez]): IT FUCKING WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
./p prim/nickz Well you should pull it more often!
(Primate:Messages [Nickz/Mikez]): It works. I'm going to put it in a box
now. You will be proud. :)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1051177 *Quotes* 21:55 26-FEB-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Something Funny :)
(Wild1:Personal Mailbox): i seriously wanna belt my brother across the
HEAD! im trying to print colour pictures and when i turn my back he
swaps the cartridge for a black and white one to piss me off....HAS HE
NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!! i waste SOOOO much time because of
(Wild1:Personal Mailbox): that little runt@!!!!!!!!
<laugh> I don't know why, but I find it amusing too :)
Must be because she reacts to it so well :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1053075 *Quotes* 23:58 04-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Theory of Probability
Gateway actually said something witty and clever:
That's actually funny, Gateway...did you have help? :)
Gateway: No i impressed even myself
Petrov: Mike, it's like that 'thousand monkeys typing for a
thousand years thing with Gateway..;)
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1053521 *Quotes* 08:41 06-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Elysium (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: Heppell1.txt
Find it attached. :)
It's a 3-part series, btw.
Elysium.
Public Msg #1053522 *Quotes* 08:43 06-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Elysium
To: ** ALL **
FILE: Heppell2.txt
Part two.
Public Msg #1053523 *Quotes* 08:47 06-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Elysium
To: ** ALL **
FILE: Heppell3.txt
Part 3.
Public Msg #1054636 *Quotes* 01:17 11-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Too Sexy
Petrov: This chick on tele wants me. She is giving me her phone number.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1055604 *Quotes* 00:47 14-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Erm...
(Lilith:Messages): i'm thinking (now that i've got a modem which will call
active & not hang) that I might start calling semi-regularly again.. :)
** Logoff: Lilith (F), 2400 bps, 2979 / 197 credits - Lost Carrier
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1055972 *Quotes* 18:23 15-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 300 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: :)
(Wild1:Main menu): this line is PAINFULLY SLOW!
./# wild1
LINE USER-ID AGE SEX TIME CALLS :-) CREDS ONLINE A OPTION
06 Wild1 20 F 0:12 180 300 2197 2197 N Main menu
---
I don't know why, but, I found it amusing :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1056077 *Quotes* 02:09 16-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Whistle a Happy Tune
When you are young, you sometimes act without thinking - this often
has dire consequences. Myself, JohnZ, and NickZ were young once and
also happened to be in a rather heavy rock/metal band.
We also had a local friend, David. David was interested in music
and his parents had just bought him a nice, new, guitar. Slowly but
surely, David was beginning to master "Waltzing Matilda" on his
new toy. Meanwhile every Thursday night, our band (mine, JohnZ's
and NickZ's) would play at the local pub. It was a good heavy gig and
had a fairly tough crowd. We'd been there quite a while and we were
fairly established.
As fate would have it, late one Thursday night David was driving
his Mum home from somewhere (probably a church meeting) and was passing
right by the pub we were playing at. It was about 11pm and we were
well into it. David's Mum was a lovely lady. Very religious and a
devout Catholic, and was also a firm believer in the Royal Family.
She was very prim and proper and bore a resemblance to the Queen.
David, in his flawless wisdom, decided it was a perfect opportunity
for his Mother to hear our band. He wanted to introduce her to the
sort of music the "nice boys up the street that I spend so much time
with" played, so he thought they should drop-in for a moment.
So there we were...just finished a song and in walks David and his
Mother who promptly seats herself right in-front of the stage while
David makes his way around to the side where we waved at him. This
is where our intense stupidity and several hours of free beer made
their mark. Without a single thought, we launched into an original
song of ours that was always lots of fun in the last bracket.
The song was underway and I turned to the side to glance at David,
expecting him to be giving us the "thumbs up". Instead he was sitting
with his head buried deep into his hands looking like his whole life
was about to end. You see, it just so happens that the chorus of this
wonderful original song we were so proud of playing to David's Mum had
the inspiring chorus "Fuck you, fuck me, everybody fuck the queen".
True story :(
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1057408 *Quotes* 14:12 21-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Lisa (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: heh :)
(Me:Messages): that's not how you spell chupa chups :)
(Milo:Main menu): oh yeah :) how do you then
Public Msg #1058216 *Quotes* 21:44 23-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Pussy
David discovers pussy:
(David:Messages): I would say I saw my first one 6 months ago... I don't
know how long they have been making them in the current shape. Wheels
seems to think at least a couple of years. Since I saw the first one I
am tuned to it and keep an eye out... and I'd
(David:Messages): say I have seen 5 since.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1059729 *Quotes* 02:28 28-MAR-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (2 Replies) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Colleague...
The other day a colleague and I had to test some modems at work, so I
logged into active. I wanted to kill two birds with the one stone so I
took the liberty of showing this other teacher what active was all about,
explained the software and the 14 lines and the like, which was going
fine until we were interrupted by this totally out of the blue page:
(Mills:Messages): Cunt muncher!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1074454 *Quotes* 04:33 16-MAY-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (1 Reply) (Awarded 5000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Catchphryayses.
Copy by Zuid, Reply to #1074369
I thought I would add my bit on how to speak the language of
'Hey Mab' :)
First of all, you have to remember that the letter 'z' must
be used to replace the letter 's'. Alzo remember that the
number '1' iz uzed for 'i' and the number '0' 1z uzed for 'o'
wherever 1t appearz 1n a w0rd and n0t 0n 1tz 0wn. Then,
y0u have t0 be careful never t0 uze cap1tal letterz, except
f0r z1ngle letter abbrev1at10nz, wh1ch muzt be cap1tal1zed.
th1z 0ne 1z a muzt. alz0, remember t0 abbrev1ate all w0rdz 2
z1ngle letterz 0r numberz that R ph0net1cally 1nterchangable.
next, remember that wherever U can uze a d1ffernent zpell1ng
0v a w0rd <that haz the zame ph0net1c z0und>, U muzt wear
p0zz1ble. the next r00l 1z 2 never uze a w0rd gr8er then 7
zylla ballz wear p0zz1 ball unlez the w0rd 1z br0ken up 1n2
2 0r m0re w0rdz. then rem ember that kn0w f0rm 0f pun2 at10n
zh0uld ever B uzed at all and full zt0pz r zh0wn az a
d0uble zpace 1nztead U zh0uld dr0p w0rdz wear p0zz able
2 add 2 c0nfuz 0n and U zh0uld alwayz try 2 uze few
letterz az p0zz able w1l creat the zame z0und an lazt
butt kn0t leazt U zh0uld tr1 2 e1ther B bezt m8z w1th
z0me1 0r threten ther fam 1ly d0 thez rulz an u w1l B
the bezt mab zpeeka 0v al d00dz
...NickZ
Public Msg #1081399 *Quotes* 22:33 09-JUN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Wheels (Awarded 2500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Web-Personals
Hi folks,
I was passing through a few personals pages on the net recently -
thought some of you might be interested.
ð CHINA-i am 28 years old,I am sad because I did not find the right
ð gay for me. I am single,I am alone.Maybe it is just a dream that
ð I could find a right gay who could give me a big hand and warmful
ð heart. I am slim and thin,but enough strong to do what we would
ð like to do. I am a chinese gay living in china.I need a gay who
ð could give me a warmful home to fact the up and down world. I am
ð 173cm height,53kg weight. I am a cool bottom,I would like to do
ð what my lover want me to do. email me to [email address.com],let
ð us start to know each other. give us a chance,OK? my picture
ð [Posted 06, April 98]
ùðWðù
Public Msg #1081487 *Quotes* 05:43 10-JUN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Pringle (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: System Troubles...
Ever wonder how come Nickz' can get so much done around the place
...This morning in Chat...
=================================================================
*> Rex (to Nickz): "Turning brightness up on monitor suggested by
*> girlfriend fixes problem that stumps two technicians"
smile rex
*> Rex (to you): Dont smile... Nick and I were stuffed.
*> Rex (to you): We carted a monitor up and down stairs, etc, to
*> try and fix it.. :)
...<megarofl>.....continuous...I'll get back to you <lol>
*> Nickz (to you): It sure did!! :) We spent easy an hour or so
*> trying to figure out why the new monitor wouldn't work on
*> active :) :) :)
tell nic <soz> still laughing....
=================================================================
I have been informed that this has been kept a secret for around
3 years now... <bows>
<winks @ Nickz & Rex> I'll see the rest of you all when I get off
the Suspended list !!!
...{Pringle}... Casual Sex?
BTW -> It was worth it (8; <-
Public Msg #1083527 *Quotes* 23:36 16-JUN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (1 Reply) (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Cupid's work
Here's an excerpt from a message Cupid copied to me. It's been tidied up
and reproduced here with her permission:
========================================================================
Anyway, the next bad thing that happened was so embrassing!! I had to do
a PA (PA = public annocement so everyone in the store can hear). However,
a friend (Jae) said that he was gonna make me laugh while I do it. He
walked away and I thought that he was gone. Anyway I had to say
that 1 chicken was $4, or you could buy 2 of $6. So I started my
annocement. Everything was going fine, then Jae walks past Eygptian
style!! Naturally I burst out laughing and everyone heard that.
THEN I said that the cickens were 6 for $2 instead of 2 for $6!!
IT GETS WORSE! Then I realised what I said and tried to correct it by
saying "Sorry, customers. I said the wrong thing. They are 6 for $2."
I couldnt believe it I SAID IT AGAIN!! At that point Jae was laughing his
head off. I then said "Shut up, Jae" thinking that the mircophone was
off!! It wasn't! For next « hour every staff member that walked past
laughed at me! It was pretty funny. :)
========================================================================
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1084581 *Quotes* 14:10 20-JUN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Bullseye (2 Replies) (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: x access
Copy by Nickz
what is X access and how do you get it
Public Msg #1084613 *Quotes* 19:39 20-JUN-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Helping out a female caller ...
(Xxxxx:Messages): I need to send this wav file to someone and i received
it off ICQ, what address do i type in when i go to send it?
like C:/PROGRA~1/ ????
./p Xxxxx just go to private mail .... write some crud, then /s ...
when it prompts for an attached file, say yes!
(Xxxxx:Messages): yeah I know that, i am not dumb :) but what is the
file name?
:-)
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1096339 *Quotes* 10:12 31-JUL-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Astroboy (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Salt.
On a conatiner of salt we have here at work:
"This salt was harvested from underground salt layers formed 200 million
years ago... Best Before Dec 29th 1999"
<Worry>
Astroboy
Public Msg #1096405 *Quotes* 16:32 31-JUL-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Rex (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Petrov...
You know, You really have to wonder what Petrov does with his time...
Petrov: I just bounced a tennis ball on my kb, and the send file
window came up for telemte, and the default file name was
"dribble.cum", serious.
Petrov: <concern>
And you're concerned?! [laughs]
R e x . . .
Rex...
ReX...
Public Msg #1098020 *Quotes* 17:33 05-AUG-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Valiant (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ....
Out of the blue, I cop this ...
-> (Crusader:Messages): I WANNA FUCKEN GO OUT HAGAY
-> POFFTA MABST FUKN CRAP FUK YOU SYS0p!
->
-> (Crusader:Messages): [adjusts tie]
It's just not my day ... =)
VVVV
Public Msg #1099781 *Quotes* 17:13 11-AUG-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Crusader (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hmm..
After abusing me for about 10 minutes, Wingnut decided to apologise.
-> (Wingnut:Games Conference): I'm sorry forgive me.. I'm just in a
-> bad mood.. (i take it back!)
->
-> (Wingnut:Games Conference): I twisted my ankle & it kills so I
-> take it out on ppl on line!
->
-> (Wingnut): Okay... I'll buy you smokes??
Crue.
Public Msg #1118489 *Quotes* 19:04 23-OCT-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Snoggle (1 Reply) (Awarded 669 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Vending Humour.
Copy by Mikez
St Leonards tavern, in the male bathrooms, written on the condom
vending machine is this:
"Insert baby for refund!"
If only this were true in the time of Valiant's conception.
Public Msg #1119808 *Quotes* 08:01 01-NOV-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: After Cleanup
Kev and I decided to log on after cleanup.
Anyway, I log on and he isn't here yet. So, knowing that line 3 is
2400, and that he's more than likely to dial the main number, I decided
to set lines 1 and 2 to BUSY so the 2400 line was next in line. Why?
No other reason but to annoy him :) :)
** Login: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits
(Kev:Messages): fucking active :)
** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits - Normal Exit
** Login: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits
(Kev:Information): active sucks
** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits - Normal Exit
** Login: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits
(Kev:Information): fuckit vre
(Kev:Messages): its not my fault this thing connects me at 2400
(Kev:Messages): i'm just disconnecting and dialing the rotary.... its
fucked
(Kev:Messages): fucking active rotary shit
(Kev:Messages): !!!
** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits - Normal Exit
** Login: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 15986 / 5000 credits
(Kev:Information): the rotary sucks vre
:) and then after I told him:
(Kev:Messages): vre, I'm going to hurt you :)
(Kev:Messages): no, really :)
<laugh> :) Well, *I* found it amusing :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1120755 *Quotes* 20:02 04-NOV-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Greedy (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Fat Ugly Tart?
> Snoggle (to Myst): you're just a fat ugly tart who can't drive,
> aren't you?
> Myst: I CAN DRIVE!!!!!
:)
Public Msg #1122254 *Quotes* 23:14 09-NOV-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Our Concerned sysops
Whilst talking about Super Plans
./p Mikez I'm getting about 17% interest though, so its pretty good
.(Mikez:Messages): That's about the amount of interest your pages are
getting
from me
Fukn! :)
Public Msg #1126949 *Quotes* 02:02 27-NOV-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Valiant (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ÿ
-> Frankie: Nick, you know, if you don't like me you
-> don't exactly have to call here you know.
Public Msg #1130197 *Quotes* 12:15 10-DEC-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Sephiroth (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Heheh
(Tupac:Messages): heyya surfen shithead, TUPAC PUMPZ
well, i found it amusing :)
Public Msg #1135035 *Quotes* 00:29 31-DEC-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: As if
I had just logged on:
(Nickz:Messages): as if you'd call your brother's bbs.
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1135081 *Quotes* 05:14 31-DEC-98 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: First time.
David and Kirk discover sex:
(Kirk:Messages): David and I did it in about 2 hours. The actual
installation isn't hard. You first have to clean all of this crap off
<yeah ok, maybe I didn't include the last part of that page :)>
Also worth taking a look at /view 1058216 /quotes.
MikeZ :)
Public Msg #1135760 *Quotes* 17:54 03-JAN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Bloody Ravers :)
>tell odo did you know we lost a second on new year? :)
>Odo (to you): i lost about 3 days :)
<laugh> I liked it :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1137216 *Quotes* 18:28 08-JAN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Westie (3 Replies) (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: [cough]
Myst: I am not going to drink tonight.
Westie.
Public Msg #1137909 *Quotes* 05:32 11-JAN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (2 Replies)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: The 20 Emotions of Active !
Here's a list of the 20 frustrating emotions commonly experienced
by Activites:
1) The panic you feel when a user is about to go and you're typing
a really long page as quickly as possible before they log off.
2) The fear felt when you're showing Active to a friend, and then
suddenly have the realisation that a user of the same sex is
likely to page you with "<fondle>"
3) The stress you're under when you're paging madly but blindly
from within your scroll back buffer, trying to desperately catch
up on pages, when suddenly you hear the sounds of 5 more pages
coming in.
4) The sickening feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when
you type "/w g" full of hope and enthusiasm, only to find that
you're now in games conference with 3 complete morons and then
have to make up an excuse for a quick escape.
5) The aggravation you feel when a lamer is persistently trying to
schat you.
6) The anxiety you get when you have dialed Active and are waiting
to see whether the modem drops carrier at the last second, or
whether you get a 2400 baud connection.
7) The fright you get when happily chatting away with the intention
of spending the rest of the night on Active, when suddenly you
receive a message that says "*** 200 credits left for this call"
8) The disappointment you feel when you send a very witty /p ALL,
only to see "Sorry, you do not have enough credits"
9) The shame you feel when you send an extremely sensitive page,
and then discover that you sent it to the person you were talking
about.
10) The guilt you get when you log on using someone else's account
and a Sysop pages you with "Hello!" :)
11) The momentary shock you get when you log onto Active and find
your account has been suspended, and then suddenly remember that
you changed your handle.
12) The loneliness felt when you log onto Active after a week,
only to find you don't have any mail.
13) The anger you feel when you're in the middle of a really
important page and some dickhead picks up the phone.
14) The stupidity felt when you send a multipage to 5 other users
and then realise that you left two of them out.
15) The indecisive feeling you get when you're typing something
nasty in chat about a user and you just know that they'll come in
the moment you press Enter.
16) The frustration felt when a user pages you while you're
attempting to change a word in the Message Editor, only to have it
replace the word with nothing.
17) The amazement felt when a new user signs up and they have a
really pathetic handle.
18) The tension you feel when trying to enter your password as
quickly as possible so that the person next to you won't see it,
but end up completely fumbling and having to type it extra slow on
the third attempt.
19) The irony felt when you go into direct chat with a user and
then suddenly can't type for shit.
20) The disbelief you get when Active is engaged so you decide to
go to the toilet while dialing, and the moment you sit on the throne
you hear the sounds of a modem connecting somewhere in the distance.
Anyway, see you later and have a nice day :)
...NickZ :)
Public Msg #1137981 *Quotes* 12:28 11-JAN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Lazer (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Sorry, but "mik" matches more than one User-ID
I asked Mikez why he and Mikool are always online at the same time,
and i get this reponse :)
(Mikez:Messages): I think people are paying him to fuck me up :)
./p mik (rofl) :)
Sorry, but "mik" matches more than one User-ID on the system. You
must specify the User-ID that you wish to page more precisely.
Bah! :( :)
Lazer
Public Msg #1146823 *Quotes* 05:07 06-FEB-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Soup Plus
Some of us were talking about how much we like soup. Frank was telling
us how much he hates it:
Frankie: Last time I was at a restaurant and this fucken slut ordered
mussel soup. I left the fucken table.
Frankie: Honestly, I had to get up to avoid starting a fight.
Frankie: Yeah, that fish shit.
Mikez : Lovely.
Mikez : And who was this slut?
Frankie: Friend's wife.
Frankie: And I said to the guy who was hosting the event 'DOn't ever
invite me anywhere where that fucken slut is going to show
up again'.
Mikez : Because she ate soup?
Frankie: Yes.
Frankie: See how much it annoys me?
Mikez : I think I get the idea.
Frankie: Even talking about it now, I'm lighting one smoke after the
next.
Frankie: So change the subject.
Public Msg #1147059 *Quotes* 09:20 07-FEB-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Chucky (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Blonde? or just stupid? :)
ì (Carebear:Messages): Hey are you like still there coz i need to ask
ì you somwthing
ì
ì /p care I'm here.
ì
ì (Carebear:Messages): How do yuo a washing machine coz i want to
ì wash my pants
oh dear. :)
Public Msg #1147214 *Quotes* 19:30 07-FEB-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mabster (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Gawd...I was only joking. :(
> /p obe Why aren't you at Clarkes Point???????? :) :)
>
> Paged Obe1
>
> ** Logoff: Obe1 (M), 14400 bps, 5850 / 2988 credits - Normal Exit
Bastard sheep. 908
Public Msg #1148778 *Quotes* 00:37 13-FEB-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Crusader (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: I'm sure Edison got lots of this. :)
-> Serenity: Isn't funny how when you log-on and nobody says Hi to
-> you, but when you say good bye, you get lots of pages? :)
:)
Crue.
Public Msg #1157696 *Quotes* 00:41 17-MAR-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mabster (1 Reply) (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Been riding bikes too much?
> Majere: I used to work at K-MART and I had this woman by only two
> items - A packet of laxitives, and a toilet seat.
Bastard sheep. 908
Public Msg #1159157 *Quotes* 22:39 21-MAR-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (2 Replies) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: Lazer
Subj: x access
Reply to #1159009, Reply to #108458*
> > what is X access and how do you get it
>
> User-ID ... AGE SEX CALLS HOURS CREDS A CREATED LAST CALL TIME
> Bullseye ... 18 M 243 92 6001 X 05/12/98 08/23/98 15:49
>
> Looks to me he found out :)
<laugh> when he was suspended, he created the account "Active" and
logged on to page me about it. Here is one of the pages Bullseye sent
to me:
> (Actiive:Games Conference): if i wanted an account i would get one
> of my friends in year 12 to hack into active and get me one an make
> it so you can't delete me!
<smile>
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1162638 *Quotes* 05:36 03-APR-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (1 Reply) (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Really, he's not that bright :)
We were in Games, and I was wondering what Active says when it logs
you off for profanity. Nobody was sure so Kev tested it for us, got
logged off, to see what it would say.
So, what does he do??? He logs back on and then pastes it into Games
for us to see what happened :)
Kev: ‘‘‘ fuck
Kev: ‘‘‘ fuck
Kev: ‘‘‘ Final Warning Before System Disconnects! (Aborted!)
Kev: ‘‘‘ fuck
Kev: ‘‘‘ Final Warning Before System Disconnects! (Aborted!)
þ Kev þ Zap!...
** Logoff: Kev (M), 2400 bps, 4407 / 4407 credits - Profanity
Really, he's not that bright :) :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1164911 *Quotes* 21:28 14-APR-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Scarlet (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Mike has a "sensitive" bone?
(Mikez:Messages): I'm going to call Kev :)
(Mikez:Messages): Nick has offended him and I'm drunk enough to care :)
-*Scarlet*-
Public Msg #1170692 *Quotes* 12:27 13-MAY-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: IRC stuffs.
Although I wouldn't normal quote something of this nature (from IRC)
However, someone sent this message to me today and I found it to be a
beauty. :)
-> <kAmmY_kAt> i am lafing at your unbelevibly incradibly low level
-> of intaligince and sochal life
Kezza
Public Msg #1170719 *Quotes* 17:42 13-MAY-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Eternity (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Uhhh
This one completely came out of the blue!! :)
(in Games Conference)
Vead: I need breasts
Public Msg #1170757 *Quotes* 21:01 13-MAY-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (1 Reply) (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: there's a point :)
And nick has gone past it :)
‘‘‘ (Nickz:Games Conference [Mikez/Kev]): when I touch its arse, it
‘‘‘ gets excited and the liquid shoots straight up :) I think it's
‘‘‘ just a cold night, vre.. if it were a warmer night, it'd work.
‘‘‘ (Nickz:Games Conference [Mikez/Kev]): vre, when i breath warm air
‘‘‘ on the birds arse, it works :)
The phantom felcher is on active?! :)
Public Msg #1177068 *Quotes* 02:09 16-JUN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <laugh>
Odo (to you): if i could go back in time...i'd do everything pretty much
much the same way :)..i'd have to keep remembering to look surprised tho :)
...NickZ <well, I found it amusing :)>
Public Msg #1177838 *Quotes* 21:11 18-JUN-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Eternity (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hah
Frankie: Nick, Spermity is calling me bald and fat.
tell frank Well you just said you were!
Frankie: Doesn't matter Spermity. I don't like calling here to get
abused you know.
Public Msg #1189955 *Quotes* 14:03 08-AUG-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Vead (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Baby on Board
> Cloey: I'm just reading about artificial insemination in /sex....
> Cloey: h,mmmmmmmmm
> Cloey: Holy shit!
> Cloey: I a m really late!!!!!!!!!!!!11
DaveVde
aad
Public Msg #1194421 *Quotes* 01:48 02-SEP-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Kiddies?
Rex: I am blinking more than Akuma in the toilets at a kindergarten...
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1195981 *Quotes* 20:40 03-SEP-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Scouty
To: Smiley
Subj: CB
Fw by Smiley, Fw by Smiley
Do you know were to get cheap cb radios
Public Msg #1197935 *Quotes* 23:34 21-SEP-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Ummm...
./t Light's Scrotum
Topic: Light's Scrotum
(Serenity:Games Conference): Can I come in please?
Public Msg #1198253 *Quotes* 12:51 24-SEP-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Astroboy (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Shampoo
On a Bottle of Pears Shampoo ...
"...And because Pears contains only simple, trusted ingredients it will
leave your familys hair beutifully soft"
"Ingredients: Water, Sodium Laureth sulfate, cocamidopropyl betaine,
dimethiconol, carbomer, glycol disterate, laureth-4, DMDM hydantoin,
guar hydroxylpropyltrimonium chloride, PPG-26, tocopheryl acetate,
sodium citrate, sodium lauryl sulfate, sodium chloride, fragrance, CI
47005, CI 16255"
Hmm...
¥Astroboy¥
Public Msg #1198574 *Quotes* 18:26 27-SEP-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Johnz
To: ** ALL **
Subj: MikeZ' Literary Talents
While cleaning out today I found some of MikeZ' work:
Percy Pig is plump
and pink
I like a pink plump
pig I think"
... MikeZ (26-9-69)
I always knew he liked Scarlet!
¯ JohnZ ®
Public Msg #1203557 *Quotes* 23:19 01-NOV-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: It's True!
(Mouse:Messages [ALL]): I've been rejected by a man, for another
man!!!!!!!!!! How insulting and offensive!!!!! Bah!!!
(Rex:Games Conference [ALL]): Well, three men wont work.. You need
at least one woman....
MikeZ.
Public Msg #1206678 *Quotes* 22:46 22-NOV-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Laitha (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Good point. :)
ehahe :)
suck all s
> ...You can't suck EVERYONE secretly!
Kezza: And why the fuck not?
Kezza: I suppose this is active. :)
moosh:)
Public Msg #1207468 *Quotes* 15:56 28-NOV-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Active History
Time for a bit of Active folklore...
Many years ago I went to a movienight (I think this was mid/late 1994).
When I arrived there, there was a totally hot little babe standing
there. Naturally, I assumed she had nothing to do with Active :)
However, further investigation proved that she was "Meenie" - one of
our newer callers! So of course, the guys have swarmed around this
little babe...
The next day, I am on Active and see a message from someone. They said
something like "Gee I bet guys on here are going to be all over Meena
now that they've seen her and realised what a complete babe she is!"
Notice I said "Meenie" originally and "Meena" in the message. Yes, the
guy who wrote the message accidently called Meenie Meena. The problem
here is that Meena was a caller who was, by all reports (I never met
her) totally horrendous. Not only that, she was known to be extremely
desperate and wanted to call/meet/date any guy on here who happened to
page her.
A few of our geekier callers who would remain nameless, but they don't
call anymore so what the hell (Pazzo and Quota) see this message and
decide to start cracking onto MEENA (not Meenie :)). To their utter
surprise, this totally hot babe is actually paying them attention and
wants to meet them! They couldn't believe their luck! Of course they
organise a meeting...
...what happens next will keep me smiling for years. Yes, they turned
up and realised very quickly what they did. According to reports, they
literally ran from the scene screaming!
MikeZ :)
Public Msg #1208615 *Quotes* 14:50 04-DEC-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Vampira (1 Reply) (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: Odo
Subj: The Virgin Plane!!!!!
Reply to #1207749
> Daniel and I were talking about the new virgin airline consortium that
> is planning on offering cheap thrills, erm i mean cheap trips between
> major capital cities.
-
HAHA, the best quote to come out of that was:
"Are you sure you want to fly in an airline thats not willing to go all
the way?"
Made me chortle :)
-=
VampiraVampiraVampira
Public Msg #1209419 *Quotes* 14:51 11-DEC-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Pyscho (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: wrong person?
¯ ** Signup: Insomneac (M), 14400 bps, 901 / 901 credits
¯ (Cheshire:Messages): hmm... you'd think that before picking a word
¯ as your signup name you'd make sure you knew how to spell it
¯ Privat<E> <R>eply <T>hread <P>revious e<X>it <N>ext? /p ch not
¯ really (:
¯ (Cheshire:Messages): ah yes, i forgot who i was making that
¯ observation to :)
MWahhahaa .. [cough]
Pys! (:
Public Msg #1212105 *Quotes* 21:25 26-DEC-99 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (1 Reply) (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hmm. :)
þ Paranoid (to Maverick): I AM NOT A SLUT!!! FUCK YOU!
Kezza
Public Msg #1220334 *Quotes* 03:19 19-FEB-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
FILE: clouds.txt
Many many moons ago, your friend and mine, Pengo, decided to page a
whole bunch of people individually over the course of a week or so,
asking them the simple question "What were the skys like when you were
young?" He was nice enough to capture all the responses and compile
them into one nice little file for us all to read :) Some of which are
amusing :)
So, attached to this message are all the responses Pengo got to his
rather odd question :) At the time, nobody knew they were being
quoted of course :)
Option 1 to Ascii download!
...NickZ <So, What were the skys like when you were young?>
Public Msg #1221066 *Quotes* 23:33 25-FEB-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Active Logic
SIG Msg #1206043 01:34 19-NOV-99
From: Nickz (1 Reply)
To: Jedd [in SIG /Active]
Subj: Summary
<N>ext <P>revious e<X>it <C>opy <R>ead?
I thought I would summaryise all of /Active for you since you have
been away :)
Apparent Blacktown is the middle of Sydney, and its a very safe
suburb. The word "Abo" is taboo. Don't read any messgaes between
Chucky, John, Pyscho. The majority really wanted a republic, even
though they voted otherwise. Drugs are safe. A person with a tattoo
has a better chance of getting a managerial position than someone
without. People that protest for the sake of protesting don't really
exist, and lesbians don't have short spikey hair :)
I think that pretty much sums it up :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1222250 *Quotes* 05:29 03-MAR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Frankie (1 Reply) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: Pyscho
Subj: Like the corner of my mind
Copy by Mikez, Reply to #1221775
> What is your favourite childhood memory?
When my next door neighbours daughter lined up a few guys in my garage,
pulled her dress up and let us all go around one at a time to lick her
cunt.
Pube free, mind you. I think we where all 8 or 9 at the time.
Her name was Ari. I can still smell her fresh pussy from here.
Ari, if you happen to be on this BBS and reading this, think back. Ring
me.
-Frankie
Public Msg #1224717 *Quotes* 22:26 30-MAR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: An Active Classic
Public Msg #917980 *Cars* 18:51 29-APR-97
From: Gangstar
To: Critter
Subj: 4 sale.
Reply to #917520, Reply to #916040,*
YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKEN MORON ON THIS EARTH! I dont know what im
talking about dikface?! wats a locker fuknut?! a welded standard
Diff..NOW <fukn Kindy Lesson> DOES A BACKYARD LOCKER ALLOW ANY SLIP
AROUND CORNERS?! Can u drive your shitbox in the fuckn wet cumface?
Ofcourse it gives better traction off take off, but is it worth the
risk? i seen cars get tottaled because the dopey fucks had a 'locker'
YEa id put it in a light car STRICTLY to race down the Quarter, and pull
it out again..Think About it PUNK.
Public Msg #1225503 *Quotes* 23:15 05-APR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Charizard
To: Mikez
Subj: abusing the system!!!
Copy by Odo
hey mikez how you doing eh? oh i found some people doing bad stuff here
what i found, i found that there were tow people abusing the system
which
i done once and now i know how bad it is!! :( i regret doing that and
now so reporting gabrielle and rex abusing the system by sharing
accounts which is just discrasefull in many ways such as an obstacle to
the sysops, interfearing with other people's accounts and just goes on
so i have reported gabrielle and rex abusing the system!! i'm just
telling you that is all i hope you punish them though!!! i felt very
bad when i abused it and i swear i will never do it again though and i'm
just protecting the system by your rights!
Public Msg #1226744 *Quotes* 07:36 17-APR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: NO CARRIER
Nickz and i were fuckarseing around before cleanup <being stayers> and
we were testing out all the different flash games, and anderoids and
things like that.
We were in the thick of a flash game when suddenly it came up with
"Connection Lost", I noticed that the sun was rising, I looked at the
clock, 6:05, yep, cleanup.
I picked up the phone to call nick and call him a cock for not extending
cleanup when it rang, it was nick on the other end...
Nickz: Ohhhh no vre... vre....i think we've crashed active.... ohhhh
noooo.
Kev: What?
Nickz: Vre, active, connection lost, we were in the game, remember vre?
Kev: Ummm, nick
Nickz: Nah, shoosh, when can I get it back up, fuck, it'll be ages.
Kev: Ummmm nick, its cleanup?
Nickz: What? <short silence> <laughter> thank christ for that, it would
have probably been a month or something till we get active back online
if it crashed bad!
Good too see the sysop has faith in his coding :)
Public Msg #1227069 *Quotes* 21:49 19-APR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Pyscho (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: khe?
¯ (Scouty:Games Conference): UP YOUR WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS ALL FUCKED
¯ UP FUCKEN HELL DICK HEAD
even funnier ...
(Scouty:Games Conference): Shit sorry wrong person, I was talking about
amaze
[covers.mouth.and.giggles] (;
Pys! (:
Public Msg #1227738 *Quotes* 02:28 27-APR-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <lol!> :)
Rex: Hey! I was shaving at 9 you know!! :)
Mikez (to Rex): Why'd you stop? :)
:)
Public Msg #1228471 *Quotes* 18:40 02-MAY-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Wanker
To: Mikez
Subj: Fucked bBBSBBS
Fw by Mikez, cc: of #1228458
This bbs is full of braindead droids this bbs is fucked to the max and
should be pulled down all blown up the sysop is a sus cunt
Public Msg #1228687 *Quotes* 00:52 04-MAY-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Kev's Career
Mikez: Kev, can I see your porn collection?
Kev: I don't have porn :(
MikeZ: You make porn, I bet.
Kev (to you): Vre, I'm in porn video's :)
Kev (to you): I'm the one that has to feed it in while its soft <nods>
Public Msg #1233252 *Quotes* 21:23 20-JUN-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Umberto
To: Mikez
Subj: Verify Me
Fw by Mikez, cc: of #1232521
I am still not able to page users?
Can you PLEASE fix the problam that your server may have!
Thyou
You need a faster serverte.
14.4 stupid
Public Msg #1233971 *Quotes* 03:30 20-JUL-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Some people never change! :)
(Cheshire:Messages [ALL]): it's been warm and wonderful - no, really, honest
(Frankie:Games Conference [ALL]): Go fuck yourself you fat fucken roll./
<laughing>.. I guess Frankie will always be Frankie :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1235115 *Quotes* 01:38 06-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Good Idea
Kezza (to Nickz): some cunt requested me to add him on icq.. no name,
no anything.. so i named him frankie and abuse him when I have the
shits :)
Public Msg #1235116 *Quotes* 02:04 06-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ..
(Frankie): Gimmi Sysop access. C'mon. Do something on impulse. :)
./frank Hahahaha! We just might :)
(Frankie): Now or never. C'mon.
./frank Frank, you'll wreck the place :)
(Frankie): I know. :(
Public Msg #1235395 *Quotes* 00:35 08-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Vre's!
Why didn't you break it too him :)
‘‘‘ (Johnz:Messages): I'm fucken funny looking? I'M FUCKEN FUNNY
‘‘‘ LOOKING.
Public Msg #1237126 *Quotes* 16:27 27-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: He's always behind the times!
(Frankie:Messages): Man what is wrong with everyone today!
./p fran I think daylight saving's thrown them all.
(Frankie:Messages): Daylight savings??
(Frankie:Messages): Daylight savings isn't until next month.
./p fran it was last night
(Frankie:Messages): Since when?
./p fran they moved it a month early for the Olympics.
(Frankie:Messages): Yeah good one Nick.
./p fran check active's clock, idiot! /$
(Frankie:Messages): Fuck.
** Logoff: Frankie (M), 14400 bps, 5491 / 3490 credits - Normal Exit
<rofl>!! :)
...NickZ.
Public Msg #1237237 *Quotes* 16:41 28-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Fnee!
‘‘‘ Private Msg #1235349 19:17 07-AUG-00
‘‘‘ From: Smiley
‘‘‘ To: Kev [private message]
‘‘‘ Subj: faggot
‘‘‘ Reply to #1234759
‘‘‘
‘‘‘ <N>ext <P>revious e<X>it <C>opy <R>ead?
‘‘‘
‘‘‘ > you are gay
‘‘‘
‘‘‘ If you are experience problems with the system that are causing
‘‘‘ you angst, please escalate your complaints to NickZ.
‘‘‘
‘‘‘ Private Message
‘‘‘ <R>eply <P>rev <E>rase <F>orward <C>opy <B>ack e<X>it <N>ext?
Public Msg #1237238 *Quotes* 16:49 28-AUG-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Weird Science...
(Nickz:Games Conference [ALL]): vre!! Come to my lecture !!
(Kev:Games Conference [Mikez/Gabrielle/Nickz]): Nah vre! you should
learn your uni stuff!
(Nickz:Games Conference [Kev/Mikez/Gabrielle]): vre! Come! There are
chicks!! If the lecturer queries you being there, I'll point at your
head and say "...science experiment!" :)
(Kev:Games Conference [Mikez/Gabrielle/Nickz]): I'm going to
alibrandi-ise you both next time I see you :)
Public Msg #1238770 *Quotes* 02:48 06-SEP-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (Awarded 1500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ehheahe :)
Speaking about someone nameless <cough> Woftam...
þ (Kev): if he's not a bartender, I'm going to abuse him :)
þ /kev he probably isn't.. :) he works in a factory as far as i can
þ determine :)
þ (Kev): if he did RSA for the bullshit'd'ness of it, he's a fuckwit
þ :) /#
þ (Kev): yeah, manufacturing lead solvents for use with asbestose
þ roofing materials
<rofl!!!!!!!!!!> that just cracked me up.. :)
Kezza
Public Msg #1239243 *Quotes* 17:55 15-SEP-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Laitha (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: International recognition? :(
> (Kezza:Main menu): VUV NIGHT MAKES IT
> INTERNATIONAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
> (Kezza:Messages): seriously.. :) I turned on CNN news, which is
> american based.. and there were me and kev chasing the flame :( :)
> (Kezza:Messages): yes :) I am serious.. we chased the flame over the
> harbour bridge :)
> (Kezza:Messages): when greg norman and frank sator had it.. :) And
> Kev rang his father at 7am and said 'Turn on the tv!!! I am standing
> behind Frank Sator!! I am going to be on tv!!!" then called his
> father back later and said "yeah, I saw you... and some short
> (Kezza:Messages): guy with long hair" :)
Public Msg #1240536 *Quotes* 15:45 02-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: The Breakfast
A few months ago, John, Nick, Sarah, and I decided to go to the Blue
Mountains for a weekend. Being an impromptu and unplanned trip, we
had to organise accommodation whilst there. The first night we
stayed in a nice apartment. The second night we had several options,
but decided to stay at the Hydo Majestic which I believe is the most
expensive hotel up there. The only reason we did this was because
they were offering a huge breakfast as part of the package, and John
was really looking forward to this. It was the one and only reason
he chose that hotel.
After a nice dinner and some drinks, John and Sarah retired to their
room and so did Nick and I (different rooms). All along, John going
on about how much he was looking forward to that great breakfast in
the morning.
8:30am the next morning, I wake and shower and make my way to the
breakfast room. It was indeed great, with a fantastic view across
the mountains and low lying cloud filling the valleys. Great
breakfast, great view...enjoying it. Nick arrives about 15 mins
later and by now it's about 9am with breakfast finishing at 10am.
We chat a bit and casually wonder where John and Sarah are...Oh
well, I'm sure they'll arrive soon. So we continue to enjoy this
breakfast that John is looking forward to so much. Time passes.
9:15am, 9:30am, 9:45am...still no sign of John or Sarah. 9:50am
and I begin to worry since breakfast is closing at 10:00am. I
admit that at this point I was starting to considering not calling
him at all, and spending the rest of the day in hysterical
laughter knowing he missed this breakfast he payed so much for and
was looking forward to so much.
I decided to do the right thing and went to his room. I knocked
on the door:
<knock knock>
JohnZ: What?
MikeZ: It's me...open up.
JohnZ: Fuck off, Mike.
MikeZ: John, open! It's important!
JohnZ: What do you want? Fuck off!
MikeZ: Open the door! I have to tell you something!
JohnZ: Mike, just fuck off!
MikeZ: OPEN!
<He opens the door...Sarah is in the shower>
JohnZ: What do you fucking want?
MikeZ: John, it's 9:55am and breakfast ends at 10:00am!
JohnZ: Bullshit...fuck off...<starts pushing door>
MikeZ: John, check your watch! It's 9:50am!
JohnZ: <turns pale, face drops, tone changes> What?
MikeZ: Check your watch!
JohnZ: <looks at watch> What?
MikeZ: It's 9:55am you stupid prick!
JohnZ: <totally monotone> What? <looks at the clock radio in his room
which says 8:30am> What? What?
MikeZ: Your clock radio is wrong, dickhead!
JohnZ: <in shock> What?
MikeZ: <laughing>
He starts banging on the shower door to Sarah to hurry and they
eventually arrived, so I'm sad to report that he did get his breakfast.
But I do admit that to this day, I wish I had never told him so that
he missed his beloved breakfast and this quote would be so much
funnier :)
Oh well, maybe next time...
Mike :)
Public Msg #1240724 *Quotes* 04:10 03-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Mikez
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Greek Shipping Tragedy
(Kev:Games Conference): did I tell you my theory on why so many greek
ships are sinking?
./p kev No but I'm dying to hear it :)
(Kev:Games Conference): my theory is that the captains of those boats,
are so busy trying to deafen their first mates with the boats horn,
that they're not watching where they are going and inevitably end
up hitting something
(Kev:Games Conference): there's just something about greeks and
deafening people with excessivly loud horns that amuses them. For
some reason its only been observed in the current generation of
boat captains too :)
MikeZ :)
Public Msg #1240739 *Quotes* 12:30 03-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (1 Reply)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Silently tipping in its corner <pt1>
Okay, reading through some old /quotes and laughing my collective head
off I was thinking about the past of active <last night, when it was
packed>. Mike brought up the comment on the tipping bird, and we
realised how very few users these days would know its true origins.
It all started long ago, where I used to log in from my bedroom. When
lines were full, and inactivity scripts actually illegal. Way back when
people like zuid and spychoo were on pretty much 24 hours a day, and
McGuyverKev had his birth.
Online a discussion of tipping birds <the little birds filled with
freon. Most well known for the line in the simpsons.. Homer: ITS
DRINKING THE WATER!.. As well as being in the background of many classic
movies of every era> was being held. I was tipped <no pun intended> off
that Dinn knew where to get them, so a conversation insued.
The conversation went on and on, I finally found out where to get them,
pretty much exactly. So I hopped in my sigma station wagon, picked up
one of my friends, and away we went. To find the tipping birds of
snives!
Returning victorious, one for him, one for me, one for a friends b'day,
we hurridly bent various prongs, and dunked various heads in water. Soon
there were 3 birds tipping happily around the breakfast bar.
Now one day I was in a particularly hyperactive mood. Games conference
was boring as hell. Nobody was really saying much and I was trying to
explain to people how the tipping bird worked. After about half an hour
of this I got the shits and had a great idea. As I wanted to go to
lunch.
I went and got the bird down from the shelf, a phonebook, and some
blu-tac... To be continued <yes, it gets funny :)>
Public Msg #1240740 *Quotes* 12:39 03-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Silently tipping in its corner <pt2>
‘‘‘ I went and got the bird down from the shelf, a phonebook, some
‘‘‘ and some
‘‘‘ blu-tac... To be continued <yes, it gets funny :)>
I tried various combinations to acheieve my goal, putting the bird on th
e phonebook and hoisting the keyboard up with speakers and whatever was
laying around my desk. This was too unstable. Hoisting the keyboard up
with the phonebook. Nope, too low. Then I had an idea.
Pretty much my desk turned into an elaborate collage of CD covers,
CD's, Tapes, a phone book, the modem was buried under there somewhere,
random paper, and some paper towel that I used because the bird was
dripping <I called it pissing :)> everywhere.
It really did look quite odd. The keyboard would have ended up getting
towards a 45 degree angle because I didn't have enough cd's to prop the
entire thing up. I was going to use a coke can but it kept rolling away
from me, so I had to use 3.5 inch disks and shit instead.
I probably knocked it over about 3 times in the making of it, creating a
big mess on my desk, then I had to clean it all up, and try again.
But once the keyboard and the bird were placed correctly, I was
encouraged. The bird was ready to strike.
I dunked its head, dried it slightly, and let it do its work. Its head
rose high in the air and swung downwards. It tapped lightly against the
F3 key. I blinked, and sighed. Not knowing what to do.
I literally had to dig up the blu-tac from under the mess on my desk
that had been created, I ended up delecately adding bits on, taking bits
off. Testing it by pushing it down onto the F3 key. Finally it worked.
Finally it was tipping with enough force to push down the F3 key just
enough.
While all this was happening of course, I had programmed F3 in telemate
to launch "ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!r!!!!!!!!" into
chat. I read the screen and laughed because people were already getting
the shits with the times I had hit F3 in the testing stage.
I dunked the birds head, dried it a little, and let it go. Swinging down
it hit F3...
ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Again...
ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was happy it was working.
<to be continued :)>
Public Msg #1240742 *Quotes* 12:51 03-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Tipping silently in the corner <Pt3 :)>
I wasn't just happy it was working, I was exstatic. It was like
something out of the incredible machine!
The bird goes down, hits F3, F3 makes macro...
ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zuid, spychoo, hoju, skyfire and someone else start getting angry.
It was great :)
I allowed my invention to continue running while I went and had lunch,
having faith that I would be kept online by the bird hitting the F3 key,
technically not making it an Inactivity script, instead, an inactivity
object, which I didn't believe you could be suspended for :)
After lunch I went back to my room. YES, I WAS ONLINE! But there was
nobody in games conf. Everybody was in messages.
I read my scrollback...
Kev: ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zuid: Seriously, kev, shut the fuck up about the fucking drinking water
shit.
Hoju: Why does he keep saying that?!?!
Skyfire: Fukn jesus, thats starting to piss me off!
<I'm parraphrasing, but its pretty accurate>
The abuse from each person increased and increased every time
Kev: ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!
was printed on the screen. I burst into laughter.
I noticed nick had logged on, but not come into games conference. I
paged him asking active's exact stance on the use of inactivity scripts.
His reply was something along the lines of...
(Nickz: Personal Mailbox): You are NOT allowed to use ANY form of
inactivity script AT ALL!
./p nickz So as long as a key is being pressed, like the enter key, it
makes it not a script, because a key is being pressed.
(Nickz: Personal Mailbox): Yes, if you're pressing a key, its not a
script.
Nick was gradually getting the shits with my questioning of the active
inactivity policy.
./p nickz What if it wasn't me hitting the enter key?
(Nickz: Personal Mailbox): Mate, it wouldn't matter, as long as you were
hitting the enter key. Hang on, what? Who was hitting the enter key?!?!?
./p nickz So, if I, say, hypothetically, had my tipping bird, hitting
F3, hypothetically of course, triggering a macro that kept me online,
this wouldn't be illegal?
(Nickz: Personal Mailbox): <ROFL> Bullshit mate!
I proceded to tell nick about what had just happened in chat, my
precarious desk set up, the blu-tac'd bird and the F3
ITS DRINKING THE WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Nickz: Messages): Mate, its fucking bullshit. They won't tip that many
times without going into water! I've got one laying around here
somewhere!
<final chapter is next message :)>
Public Msg #1240744 *Quotes* 13:02 03-OCT-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 15000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: No longer tipping in the corner :(
‘‘‘ (Nickz: Messages): Mate, its fuc
‘‘‘ king bullshit. They won't tip that many
‘‘‘ times without going into water! I've got one laying around here
‘‘‘ somewhere!
The conversation got more and more heated. Nick insisting it was
impossible, yet I knew it was possible, it had happened, the bird had
kept me online for about half an hour.
Nick bet a nights worth of drinks that I couldn't make the bird tip 15
times out of the water.
I said 5 tips.
He said 12 tips.. He was bargaining, he's greek after all :)
I said 6... He asked why he had to go down 3 points, and I only had to
go up 1. I paged him with "hey, instead of it being 1/3rd of your bid,
its only 1/2"
Nick didn't bother replying to that logic, he said 10.
Either way we finally agree'd that the bird had to tip 8 times without
its head touching water.
The conversation continued. Both of us getting more and more angry. More
determined to win the bet.
Nick and I decided that to better copy the conditions, the water had to
be at room temperature. The temperature could be no more than 27 degrees
C, and humidity on that day had to be lowish. To better simulate the
experiment.
Of course, if Nick was going to risk buying drinks all night, he wanted
a wager to go in his direction.
If I lost the bet, he would be able to smash the bird on my car bonnet.
He would leave it all night until I got really attached to the bird,
then he'd smash it on my car bonnet.
Because I figured this was cruel, I made another condition on his
side...
If he lost the bet he had to buy drinks for both the bird and I all
night. And he also had to have the bird drinking a drink, sitting on the
bar, he had to knock it over and say to the bartender "I think he's had
a little too much mate..."
He said I could only use a maximum of 10 grams of blu-tac
Finally we were even.
The bet was on. We organised a meeting time and date. Bar Ace it was.
On that day I didn't drive into the city, and nick forgot to buy the
tipping bird, so to this day the question of "Can a tipping bird tip 8
times without going into water while the temperature is under 27 degrees
C, low humidity, and with 10 grams of blu-tac distributed around its
body.
On that night in bar ace, we decided we had to make a tipping bird out
of a yard glass. Except we didn't know where to get Freon-11 <the
chemical in the bird>... But thats another story...
Incase you were wondering. The Tipping Bird Drinking Night became the
first, in a long series of Vuv nights that continue to this day, with
something stupider and stupider happening, in the tradition of the bird
and active.
Thankyou and goodnight :)
Public Msg #1244207 *Quotes* 20:37 22-NOV-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (2 Replies) (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Single Girls.
I just found this in todays newspaper and just *had* to quote it, Please
note this has not been changed and can be found in todays telegraph:
"The Last Episode of the excruciating docu-drama Single Girls aired on
Monday night. And good riddance, too.
<skips boring shit here>
After 10 weeks and, despite the best efforts of professional
matchmakers and Nine's lavish hospitality, all the women remain single.
"There are a lot of jerks out there," said one in the last eposide,
trying to justiy why her search for love had failed.
But, just like their fictional counterparts in Sex (in the city), it
was the women themselves who came across as the jerks.
Only one woman, "Fiona" came out of the show with her dignity intact.
The rest seemed like self-engrossed haridans, from whom any man in his
right mind would flee, screaming."
[end quote]
Good work on your first tv sucess Tia! Best of luck for the sequel :)
Kezza
Public Msg #1245179 *Quotes* 04:54 14-DEC-00 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (1 Reply) (Awarded 5000 Credits)
To: Mikez
FILE: bwaha.jpg
Mike, we were discussing the other day putting your slide scanner in the
main room hooked up to nicks computer. It wasn't apparent to me earlier,
but here's a good reason not too.
While discussing phone oddities with nick, I logged back on and was
trying to get his attention, needless to say he let me into this channel
with this...
‘‘‘ have you looked it up in your manual?
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz is rolling all over the floor laughing!
‘‘‘ Nickz: VRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
‘‘‘ what?
‘‘‘ Nickz: I JUST SCANNED MY
‘‘‘ FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nickz is
‘‘‘ rolling all over the floor laughing! lower
‘‘‘ ...Idiot!
‘‘‘ <- þ Neekz þ Leaving...
He's just paged me with "I HAVE IT!!!!!!!!!" which means there's
something fucked coming up, so stay tuned <nods>.
Vre, keep your slide scanner away from nick.
Public Msg #1246159 *Quotes* 19:44 02-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Kev (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Ahhhh homebrew :)
‘‘‘ (Kezza:Games Conference): Hopebrew rocks. :)
‘‘‘ rofl
‘‘‘ ...Now mind the furniture!
‘‘‘ ‘‘‘ (Kezza:Games Conference): Hopebrew rocks. :)
‘‘‘ rofl
‘‘‘ ...Now mind the furniture!
‘‘‘ Kezza: Hoembrew.
‘‘‘ Kezza: Fucking shit.
‘‘‘ Kezza: Don't make me zap you vre.
<rofl> :)
Public Msg #1246167 *Quotes* 23:54 02-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: heheahe :)
Vampira's opionion of spending 5 hours in the car with Jedd:
> Vampira: its like, being in messages listening to him waffle and
> correct your grammar, only you cant press N or /read :)
Sorry. I couldn't help myself. :) :)
Kezza
Public Msg #1246289 *Quotes* 18:31 04-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Vampira (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: shoddy products disturb me :)
I just bought an oil burner at a dodgy cheap variety store, and these
were the instructions written on the box. NO JOKE! Oh, especially point
number five.. I worry. :)
"Oil Burner"
After lighting the candle, please cover the FIMO candle shade and add a
small amount of fragranced oil (or water) in the top - container. You
will
find there fulls of pleasant aroma and very colourful. When use the oil
burner, we invite your attention to as follows:
1. The burner will become very hot when lighting, even in a very short
time.
So please do not attempt to pick it up or replace the candle. Allow to
cool
first.
2. Never allow it to "burn dry" , always ensure there is sufficient
liquid
in the top - container. If the liquid is all evaporated without care,
but
you want to place again. Please allow it to cool first, or the top -
container will burst.
3. Never leave a burning candle unattended.
4. Keep away from the flammable materials and keep out of children.
(keep out of children... heheheheh)
-=Vampira=-
Public Msg #1246542 *Quotes* 18:30 09-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Minniem (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Plans in the making?
> Mikez: If fucking Gates Bought InterActive he'd renamine
> it InterNetExplorereActive.
> Mikez: Hahaha....Imagine this "Gates in court over packaging
> InterActive with Windows 2010" :)
Active is set to go places!!!! (so says Mikez)
§ MinnieM §
Public Msg #1246774 *Quotes* 03:19 14-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Serenity (Awarded 800 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Hmmm.....
Mikez in chat tonight....
¯ Mikez: I think I prefer having a PC to having a girlfriend...at
¯ least the PC doesn't get upset when I insert a 3 1/2 inch floppy
¯ into it.
I found it amusing :)
Public Msg #1247069 *Quotes* 14:49 19-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Mabster (Awarded 700 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: That whacky funster Mikez...
> Mikez: I'm going with a Chinese and an Indian to Spanish yes? Is
> it SBS week?
> Mikez: Oh and a Greek...fucking hell.
Woolly dolphin. 608
Public Msg #1247219 *Quotes* 02:44 24-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Laitha (Awarded 900 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Everyone's a comedian. :(
So tonight my mum and I are in her car, heading off to do some
shopping and whathaveyou. My mum started complaining about how much my
brother changes shit when he gets in the car to borrow it, like the
mirrors, and the seats, and how she swears it just sounds different
after he's had it. So I say :
me: See how good I am? When I borrow your car, I dont change anything
except the seat. (nods proudly)
mum: And of course, the overall design .. (grin).
Will I ever live it down??? :)
Laifa.
Public Msg #1247230 *Quotes* 04:26 24-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 2000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: <laugh>
Odo: professors spend half the night doing shit :) and have messy hair :)
Odo: <looks at nick>
Odo: <looks at stereotypical professor mug shot>
Odo: <looks back at nick>
Odo: <blinks wildly>
...NickZ <hide>
Public Msg #1247309 *Quotes* 03:16 27-JAN-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Laitha (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: bitch! :)
> Nickz: <tries to imagine laitha-kezza offspring>
> Nickz: Oh god, we're going to end up with a child that's in
> constant tears because he's too young to drink :)
Laifa.
Public Msg #1249527 *Quotes* 10:41 04-APR-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Vampira (Awarded 400 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: why the internet is great.
Taken from a collection of quotes from a recent comedy festival:
" "The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a
twisted
sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there.
Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and the
computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'"
-=Vampira=-
Public Msg #1249725 *Quotes* 12:45 09-APR-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza
To: ** ALL **
FILE: HAQR!!!!!!!
This is a direct quote from a Fairfax publication, called "emag"
basically, it is an IT mag, which Kev, actully stumbled across a rather
interesting Article, from our friend, Valiant.. The Hardcore hacker :)
Take a read, have a laugh.. Maybe even leave mail for him :) :)
Attached. Yes/1 Ascii download.
Kezza
Public Msg #1250924 *Quotes* 22:23 23-APR-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Pyscho (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: erk? (:
> Phoenix: erk
> Laitha: Phoenix, what
> Laitha: ??
> Phoenix: 02 Phoenix 203.101.8.***
> Phoenix: 03 Blew 144.132.200.***
> Phoenix: 04 Johnz 203.164.225.***
> Phoenix: Fuck that's bad.
> Laitha: whats bad?
> Laitha: I dont understand.
> Laitha: :(
> Phoenix: Phoenix Blew Johnz
> Phoenix: i'm not that short
Pys! (:
Public Msg #1250962 *Quotes* 01:32 26-APR-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Kezza (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: RAVER! :)
This is what Excessive Drugs use does to the mind:
:)
> Where was the first utopia at?
> Amaze: 123 pitt st
> Amaze: the gold somethif
> Amaze: i mean golf
> Oh, Righto! I know the place.. <nods>
> Amaze: indoor sorta gold place
> Amaze: fucken folf!!!!
> Amaze: ugh!
> Amaze: i'm fucknt loseing !it
It's "Golf" vre :)
Kezza
Public Msg #1251232 *Quotes* 17:49 07-MAY-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Equinoxe (Awarded 600 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: newbies..
** Signup: Caveclan (M), Telnet, 6001 / 3000 credits
Caveclan: /list
Caveclan: /setting
Caveclan: /settings
Caveclan: /talk
Caveclan: /help
Caveclan: /who online
Caveclan: /page hello
this isn't working out for you terribly well, is it caveclan?
Caveclan: /page everyone anyone here a member of Cave Clan
Caveclan: /page equinoxe i am new
so it would seem.
Caveclan: dir/w
Caveclan: dir
Caveclan: list
i'd help you, but i have no idea what you're trying to achieve.
Caveclan: www.caveclan.org
Caveclan: /ftp: caveclan.org
Caveclan: /page everyone CAVE CLAN!
Caveclan: /page everyone Fuck this thing
<- þ Caveclan þ Leaving...
Public Msg #1251722 *Quotes* 23:34 16-MAY-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Nickz (Awarded 500 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: ...
Vampira: I HAD SEX!
Vampira: GIMME THE POINT!
<lol!> :)
Public Msg #1252351 *Quotes* 01:46 10-JUL-01 *EXEMPT*
From: Odo (Awarded 1000 Credits)
To: ** ALL **
Subj: Big Brother
OK During the Chirstina Big Brother IRC interview I went on as
"Questions" - the official operators are "Questions1" and "Questions2"
so naturally I was expecting a few mis-pages to come my way.
Here is what happened :)
*lightning* (did u enjoy yourself in the house)
./msg lightning yeah i had a great time!!!
*lightning* (did u watch todays episode if so do u feel sorry for sara)
./msg lightning no i missed it lightning - but i will be getting copies
of all the tapes from channel 10
*lightning* (sorry to swamp u with all these questions but have you
watch the first uncut episode and what we call the dancing doner))
./msg lightning no i havent had time! lol! i intend to spend a lot of
time watching tho...
*lightning* (it is quite funny)
./msg lightning i think my boobs are in some of the uncut things on the
net
*lightning* (yes there were some naked scenes of u)
./msg lightning ohh no!!lol :)
*lightning* (at the moment do u feel sorry for Sara maree)
./msg lightning why? she might win...
*lightning* (in today episode she said in a way she wishes she wish that
she left)
./msg lightning ohh she gets a bit moody like that
./msg lightning but she really loves everyone in the house
*lightning* (did u feel really close to Bunny Ears)
./msg lightning yeah we were all close in a way
*lightning* (thanku for answering me even know u have been very busy)
./msg lightning not a problem lightning
./msg lightning thank you for loggin on
*lightning* (Thanks)
*im_matt_wh Did you and Peter Have sexual relations on camera?
*lightning* (this u don't have to answer but what were u doing under
that sheet)
*lightning* (thanks christina)
*lightning* (bye chrissy i hope that u do well)
./msg lightning ohh btw how old are you?
*lightning* (i am 18)
*lightning* (y)
./msg jacqueline i hope so!! i want him pretty badly
*lightning* (u can write to me on nameblockedout@hotmail.com so thats
where u can contact me)
./msg im_matt_who_might_u_be no way - i let him touch me tho!!
*lightning* (and my name is Katie)
./msg lightning ohh hi katie. i thought you were male for some reason..
*JaCQUeLiNE do u think sara marie will get together with blair one last
time?
*lightning* (no i am not i am quite female)
./msg JaCQUeLiNE i dont know - i think they are making up their
relationship - they were very mysterious in the house
*lightning* (ok write to me please bye)
*JaCQUeLiNE do u think u will come to melb soon?
./msg lightning ok bye!!!
*lightning* (have fun back in the outside world)
./msg JaCQUeLiNE ill be touring most of australia including melbourne!!
are you from there?
./msg lightning ohh just saw your question - we were doing lots of
saucy thngs under that sheet
./msg lightning almost anything that you can imagine :)
*JaCQUeLiNE yep
./msg JaCQUeLiNE cool - there are various things happening in melbourne
to be announced
./msg JaCQUeLiNE check the radio and the tv...
*lightning* (ok then)
./msg lightning mainly just fingering me and so forth...otherwise it is
obvious sometimes
*lightning* (you better head off chrissy cause u migt get in trouble)
./msg lightning in trouble??
*lightning* (for being late for something eles)
./msg lightning ohh yeah ill be going soon :) still chatting to a few
people
*lightning* (please write soon it would be so nice)
./msg lightning ok it might be a while tho lightining..
./msg lightning ohh have you got a web page btw?
./msg lightning ill be going in a sec..
*lightning* (no i don't just email)
./msg lightning ok wellive written it down - i proise i wont forget to
write
*lightning* (thank you see you on Rove live i will be watching u "big
brother is watching" lol)
./msg lightning ok now i really have to go - bye